Saturday, October 20, 2007

I Told you So...

I just found this gem on twinsbaseball.com. by mlb Twins beat writer Kelly Thesier

Another option at third? One third baseman who likely will be available this winter is a former Twin -- Corey Koskie. The Brewers announced this week that they would not pick up Koskie's option for 2008, allowing him to file for free agency after the World Series.

Whether Koskie would be an option for the Twins depends on if he will be healthy enough to come back and play next season. Koskie missed the entire 2007 season due to the effects of post-concussion syndrome, which he began feeling in July 2006.

And even Koskie admitted that his playing career might be in danger of being finished.

"I still want to get better, I still want to play," Koskie said on Sept. 28. "I would love to get back out there at this point, because just playing, I would know I'm better. I'm still hoping to be playing somewhere next Spring Training. If I'm not better by January, then maybe it's over."

You Heard it Here First Folks!

Scrub Signing '08

While hunting for my baseball rumors for the upcoming free agent season, I stumbled across this article in the Star Trib. today. I still stand by my word, I will only let him back if he breaks a chair before each game. (see last blog for humor reference)

Koskie wants to play

October 20
Minneapolis Star Tribune
(scroll down)
"Koskie, 34, gets a $500,000 buyout from the Brewers and can file for free agency after the World Series. The Twins need a third baseman, and Koskie might be looking for a job... The Twins have been in contact with the agents for outfielder Torii Hunter and righthander Carlos Silva."

Thursday, October 18, 2007

2007/2008 Twins' Free Agent Signings

The World Series hasn't started yet, but the Twinsbeatwriters like to jump the gun. We want to look at the possible free agent signings for the Minnesota Twins. If you have hopes for the Twins' signing Alex Rodriguez or Bobby Abreu, then I wish you the best of luck in your life in Candy Land. I have no confidence in the off season anymore--I have been rubbed raw. Every winter I get high hopes that something big is going to happen, and every winter I am sadly disappointed. Considering the Twins' track record, here is a good guess at what is going to happen this winter.

Realistic Twins' signings:

3B:
Tony Batista: This could be played off a a sequel. Batista II slower...much slower.
Arron Boone: I can really see the Twins trying to sell this one on us. They will say something like: "he fits into the system" or something dumb like that. I have been bamboozled on one Boone brother already (Bret Boone, 2005), it didn't work.
Corey Koskie: This one is right up the Twins' alley. It's a feel good story that a typical Twins fan would love. I do not want any part of Koskie unless he promises in his contract to break a chair before every game.
Mark Bellhorn: Older player, some name potential, may get some fans excited, if this guy doesn't have Twins' free agent written on him, I don't know who does.

OF
Correy Patterson: See Mark Bellhorn's description.
DH
Rubben Sierra: "Hey, you know who we should give a call back...Ruben Sierra." Future bad quote from Twins' front office.

P
Kris Benson: hmmm...we don't need pitching, however, let's blow a lot of money on this guy. We need a veteran presence.
Carlos Silva: This one is going to be the hardest. After loosing Hunter, and trading Santana, the Twins will get desperate and throw a lot of money at Silva.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Goodbye Torii

This just in, Twins Beatwriters have some inside info. It turns out that Torii Hunter might be leaving Minnesota. Thankfully, there is no way that we will loose Johan Santana. However, the loss of Hunter is significant. In honor, here are my top three Hunter moments.

3. 2002 All Star Game Take Web Gem: What's better than robbing a home-run in the All Star Game? Robbing it from Barry Bonds. In case you forgot, this was the year that Barry was trying to actually get fans and sports writers to like him. Barry's reaction was very unBarry; after Hunter's catch, Bonds joked with Hunter and picked him up like a rag doll. Had Bonds not been trying to get people to like him, he would have gone straight to the dug-out, started crying, and then proceed to punch Jeff Kent in the face.

2. Summer 2002, Vs. The Indians: In the summer of 2002, the Twins and Indians had a nice little rivalry going. Late in a game, the Indian's pitcher threw one at Hunter and hit him intentionally. I was wondering if Hunter would charge the mound or gracefully walk to first. Gladly, Hunter did neither, he got up, grabbed the ball, and hurled it right back at the pitcher. Hunter had a hot head, and I like that in a player.

1. June 28th, 2006, day game against the Dodgers: This was a special day for me. Two days after Hannah was born, my Grandpa, Dave, myself, and my cousin went to a Thursday game against the Dodgers. It was the bottom of the first inning and the bases are juiced for Torii Hunter. My Grandpa is the biggest baseball fan I have ever met. Somehow he had never been to a Twins game at the Dome; He looked like a kid in a candy store the whole day. As Hunter came to the plate I leaned over to my Grandpa and said: "If Hunter hits it out of the park, this place it going to go crazy." Two pitches later, Hunter slammed one over the fence and my Grandpa was on his feet yelling. It was an awesome moment.

Friday, October 12, 2007

2007 Game 7, World Series Dream

By Tyler Savage

I'm afraid the Minnesota Twins have fallen for the oldest trick in the book. I have to be honest, I didn't even see it coming. Billionaire buys a baseball team for a lot of cash, wins two World Series, runs the team into the ground, returns the team to glory, threatens to contract the team, rebuilds the team, tricks Hennepin County into building him a multi-million dollar stadium, then destroys the team for maximum profit . Happens everyday. Don't cry for the Twins...think about the Dome Dogs, where the fuck are they going to go? What about the baggy? In 2010 it will be a damn billboard. All I have to say is I am taking one of the seats with me before they crash the wreaking ball on my childhood.
Sadly...the show must go on. Since the Twins didn't get to the World Series again...here is a little fictional blog that I wrote. The setting is game 7 of the World Series. The characters are the Three Beat Writers: me, Dave, and Scotty. We are naturally sitting in the seats above the baggy.

Game 7: Twins Vs. Montreal

(Batting Practice)
Dave: Man I can't believe the Expos are in the World Series against the Twins.
Me: I know, I can't believe Selig had the NLCS winner play the 2002 Expos team to see who got to play in the World Series this year.
Scotty: Man those Expos look good in their powder blue 70's uniforms.
Me: That's odd that they are wearing their old uniforms even though they are the 2002 team.
Dave: No it isn't, this is only a dream Savage...one beautiful dream.

(The three sit and eat Dome Dogs in normal-guy-baseball-silence, it's good silence, not awkward silence. Me and Dave fill in our score cards)

Dave: Man I'm glad Sam is not here.
Me: Crazy...I was just thinking that myself.
Scotty: Me too.

(time passes)

Scotty: First pitch...come on Johan
Me: This is going to be great

(The game progresses normally)

Dave: What do you think is the greatest baseball food?
Me: Peanuts.
Scotty: I gotta disagree, I think seeds are good.
Dave: what about the Cracker Jacks?
Me: I'm sick of Cracker Jacks.
Scotty: Why?
Me: They suck. It is a snack that should have been weeded out many years ago.
Dave: What the hell are you talking about?
Me: Question for you, when was the last time you ran into a gas station and bought a bag of Cracker Jacks for your car ride up to the Dome?
Scotty: Never...do they even sell Cracker Jacks at gas stations.
Dave: Some...they are harder to find then a Hardee's though.
Me: Exactly. This was early product placement at its finest. The only reason that Cracker Jacks are still around is because of Take Me out to the Ballgame.
Dave: Man...what's wrong with you Savage, what you got against Cracker Jacks?
Scotty: Yeah, it's game 7 and your bitchin about Cracker Jacks.
Me: Just wait till some company pays MLB 2 billion dollars to place their product into the song.
Dave: What The fuck are you talking about?
Me (singing): Buy me some peanuts and Citi Rewards Points....
Dave: I see your point, but what about peanuts?
Me: What about the peanuts?
Dave: isn't that they same thing?
Me: What..No, no. The peanuts are completely different. The song is not promoting a brand of nuts, just the nuts.
Scotty: I bet Mr. Peanut would love to get into the song.
Me: No shit, I bet he's tried.
Dave: Hey, here comes the 7th inning stretch.
Me: You can sing your corporate anthem if you'd like, I think I'll just sit this out.
Scotty: What about the Cubs?
Dave: Huh? What about the Cubs.
Scotty (singing): So it's root, root, root for the Cubies.
Me: Let em have their little fun. 1908 man, 1908.

(inning 22)
Dave: Wow. I can't believe the game is still going on.
Me: Ya, and everyone has left but us.
Scotty: I can't believe they have shut off the score board.
Me (raising my glass): Yes, and all the free beer we can drink.
Dave: I'm just glad I'm in the game! Try to hit this Savage!
(Dave is magically on the mound, and Lobs a large softball underhand to the plate to me)
(The ball is hit and it is hit hard. Naturally, the ball winces its eyes and begins to scream as it sails out of the stands. The ball's scream can be heard for miles, many in Hennipen County suffer severe hearing loss; the shock wave from the ball blows Dave over).
(The Star Wars theme plays over the speakers as I jog the bases. As I round first Terry Tower Hands me a beer in a small keg cup. I throw it over my head like a marathon runner cooling himself at mile 20).
Scotty: Hey...how did Terry get here?
Dave: It's a fuckin party...of course Terry would show up.
Terry: (makes unrecognizable mongrel noises, I hear something about shaving).
(As I jump on home plate I am mobbed by everyone and everyone is pounding on my head).
Dave: Everyone's here!
Scotty: But SAM!!
All Of the Mob: YEAH!!!!!
Me: Let's go to the locker room!
(We all run into the locker room and have a 22 and a half hour champagne fight to Bruce Springsteen's Glory Days song).

And they all lived happily ever after... but Sam.


Monday, August 20, 2007

Going Underground

By David Jensen

A lot of you have been wondering about my mysterious absence. Well, in July, I was working on a column about the impending trade of Luis Castillo, when I heard a voice say "Jim Souhan says hello." The stranger then threw a garrote around my neck. Fortunately, my editor was able to take out the would-be assassin with a cast iron skillet. Knowing that someone would be coming to finish the job, I was forced to leave the beat writers office. I stayed in a KOA under the name Reynolds McAdoo, for a week, then I joined a smoke jumper team and hid out in the burning forests of western Montana.
I have been able to resurface and begin writing again. I can't say where I am, but I am safe for now. I've missed a lot, but the Twins are in first and Punto is batting .300 right?

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Twins to KSTP: Don't Fuck with Us!


By Tyler Savage

I always think that the Twin’s announcers are the biggest homers around. However, Dick, Gordo, and Bert may not be doing this voluntarily; after last week, it appears that the Twins have an iron fist on their media.

The Twins got pissed at KSTP after one of last week’s post game radio shows on KSTP. During the show, one of the hosts suggested that Joan Rincon was not playing well lately because he is no longer taking steroids. This infuriated the Twins, and Ron Gardenhire explained that the organization is going to settle this dispute--Sounds like there may be a body in a trunk soon.

The Twin’s had other media problems last week, when Jack Morris filled in for Dan Gladen. Morris was critical of the Twins for taking out Johan Santana early in a game. The Twins spoke out, and have since talked with Morris about the incident. Sounds like Chilli Davis may be the new backup radio color man when Dan Gladden is on vacation.

Vertical integration is a bad thing. When one company makes, produces, and distributes a product everyone looses. It appears that this is what the Twins have with their radio programs. So, the next time you hear Gordo say that Carlos Silva is on the upswing, don’t roll your eyes, because there could be cold steel pressed to the back of his head while sweat is running down his face.