Dear Twinsbeatwriters.com,
The Twins are super excited to have you back in the saddle for another exciting five years! Your years of service through our lower popularity days helped continue to grow our huge fan base, we are excited to talk to you about some changes that we have implemented with our beatwriters!
Although we enjoy reading about shows you enjoy watching in the morning, and reading about old…or classic movie reviews, we would appreciate if you would focus your writing more on Target Field, and of course the Twins. We would like to strongly encourage you to keep up your great work by writing a season preview of fan favorite Joe Mauer! Remember to explain how Mauer grew up in Saint Paul, was an MVP, batting champ, that he signed on to play for the Twins for many years, oh, and that he plays catcher. Lastly, don't forget to mention that he has side burns and plays at Target Field.
In closing, it is our pleasure to remind you that we have a strong no sarcasm policy for all beatwriters, and appreciate your compliance with this policy.
Best,
President Fat A. Cat
PS: Make sure to remind fans about Giant Sunflower Seeds--the official sunflower of the Minnesota Twins and financer of your column.
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