WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT THERE!!

By Tyler Savage

On Saturday something happened in baseball that was one of the evilest things that threatens the integrity of our great sport. No…it was not when Barry Bonds hit his latest homerun to continue his pursuit of raping the homerun record (note: this is an evil that I have come to accept in life, it is kind of like smoking and gambling). The evil occurred in the game played between the Orioles and the Indians at Jacob’s Field.

The travesty occurred in the 6^th inning of the game, but it actually started in the 3^rd inning. Here is the scoop, the Orioles have a man on third and on first, the guy at the plate hits a good shot to right field that is caught. The Oriole on third base then tags up and scores by crossing home plate. However, the man on first base makes a huge folly, he leaves for second base without tagging up and is thrown out at first. The key point is that the Oriole’s player on third crossed home plate before his teammate was picked off of first—by rule, the run should have counted.

The fun really begins after this play takes place, because the umpires get the call wrong, and do not reward the birds with the point that they should have earned. This should not be a shock to any of us who follow baseball. Umpires get calls wrong all the time (not to this extent of course, but it does happen).

The evil that I have foreshadowed about occurred in the 6^th inning of the same game between the O’s and the Indians. The Orioles manager bitches and points to the replays, and the umpires actually go back in time, and reward the Orioles with the point that they should have gotten in the 3^rd inning. Last time I checked, this is not the NFL, and there is not instant replay in baseball. In fact, this may be the first time in the history of the game that an umpire has changed a call after an argument with a manager.

Umpires and managers fighting to resolve absolutely nothing is one of the many things that makes baseball great and unique. Earl Weaver did not get thrown out of countless number of games to get a call reversed. He did it for the sport, his despise for umpires, and to just argue like a child as an adult. If more calls get reversed like Saturday nights, the tradition of the game is at stake.

Cardinals reliever dies in car crash

Josh Hancock, a key cog at middle relief for the 2006 World Champion St. Louis Cardinals has died in a car crash. Hancock, a Cleveland native and Auburn University alum pitched for the Red Sox, Phillies, and Reds before joining the Cardinals last season. He was 29 years old.

Tonight's Cardinals/Cubs game has been postponed.

Dateline Venezuela: Blogger not missing, not dead...

By Scott Doucette

Before I start I have to clear something up. Contrary to common belief I was not kidnapped because of the value of my kidneys on the black market, but rather, because of my derogatory comments about Venezuelan phenom Carlos Silva. I wish to offer a public apology to Carlos and his family. That being said, lets blog.

First of all I'd like to thank fellow bloggers Tyler and Dave for holding down the fort while I was otherwise engaged. And no, I'm not upset about your attempt to replace me with an "intern".

My Venezuelan captors Enrique and Luis have been surprisingly kind and even though I was forced to marry their youngest daughter (it was a beautiful wedding), I've actually been enjoying myself down here. My farmer's tan is in full effect and I've had more than my fill of undercooked goat and wild rice. Needless to say, a return to the states is not expected any time soon and now that I've gained access to the town computer I will be blogging regularly from my new home. Oh yeah, the people here seem to think Johan Santana is pretty good. They love their baseball, and believe it or not, most are big Twins fans. I watch all the games at a local Fuddruckers with Enrique and I have to say that I'm a little disappointed in the bats lately.

Going into the season I was skeptical of a lineup that has done nothing to prove me wrong. Of course our big guns are producing: The Big Baby Jesus, Joe Mauer, continues to hit and Cuddy continues to "smell em", while Morneau and Hunter are where they need to be, but at this point I'd like to trade in a couple of our Little Piranhas for one big damn Killer Whale. Nick Punto and Jason Bartlett have yet to show the talent that won them starting jobs last year while a platoon system at DH of Jason Kubel, Jason Tyner, and Mike Redmond, somwhow, does not seem to intimidate opposing pitchers. The offense has been affetive at times but it now seems that the pitching staff everyone was questioning going into the season might be just fine whereas our fun little lineup might be just that. Little fun to watch.

Prove me wrong fellas. Prove me wrong.

Pitfalls, Quicksand and Footholds

By David Jensen

April 19^th, Minnesota is an AL best 10-5 and in first place in the central by one game. Behind them was a road sweep of division leader Seattle. Ahead of them is a stretch of 10 straight divisional opponents, five against the lowly Royals. On April 26^th, the Twins are 11-10 and searching for answers. In six days, they lost twice to Cleveland and three times to those Royals and slipped to fourth in the division. Such is baseball. In a game based on failure, losing streaks are inevitable.

When a team is riding high, the trap door can open suddenly and seemingly without reason. Since leaving Seattle, Twins starting pitchers are 0-4 with a 6.03 ERA. The bullpen has continued to perform well, but with so much extra work, the dam is bound to break, i.e. the 11^th inning versus Cleveland on Monday.

Coupled with poor starting pitching, one would think that Luis Castillo’s injury has played a major role in Minnesota’s struggles. He hasn’t played since straining his left quadriceps April 19^th. His replacement, 22 year-old Alexi Casilla, has batted .393 and committed one error. As a team, Minnesota committed four errors, as many as their opponents.

Casilla isn’t the only one swinging a hot bat. In the last six games, Torii Hunter is hitting .360 with four doubles. Joe Mauer is hitting at a .435 clip. Nick Punto has batted .304, raising his season average 57 points.

With the table setters getting on base, we come to the four and five hitters. Dorn has hit a measly .208 with two RBIs and two extra base hits. Somehow Morneau has managed to do even less. He has one hit in his last 17 at-bats. Since leaving Seattle, he has just one RBI and one walk. With that kind of production from those two, the Twins will have little chance of overcoming a poor pitching performance.

The Twins had one last chance to salvage some respect before going to Detroit. Remembering the old cliché “momentum is today’s starting pitcher”, I listened and hoped. Boof wobbled, walking a career high seven Royals, but never fell in five shutout innings. He helped himself with eight strikeouts, tying a career high. Zack Greinke had the same type of day, giving the Twins many chances, but he always found a way to squirm out of trouble before leaving after the seventh. Greinke started the second by beaning Hunter in the face, sending him to the hospital for stitches. Neither bullpen gave up much through 10 innings.

Dorn led off the 11^th by grounding out to short. Morneau came up next with no hits in four at-bats on the day. But, like the warrior he is, he put the slump out of his mind and lined a long single off the baggy. He advanced to second on a seeing-eye single by Tyner. That set the stage for Mike Redmond. Predictably, the best hitting catcher in the game came through with a single to drive in the winning run. When the reigning MVP hits, good things happen. Like Dan Gladden said on the broadcast; “I don’t care what caliber of hitter you are, you’re gonna go through some one-for-twenty-one slumps”. Let’s hope it doesn’t follow him to Detroit.

The Royals Strike Back

By Tyler Savage

On Saturday I watched the Empire Strikes Back for the first time in a year or so. I never realized how ruthless Darth Vader was with the admirals in the Galactic Empire. It really got me thinking...what if Darth Vader managed the Twins? Here is a small picture of what it might look like.

(Note: Twins and Royals, game one, Friday night. Sydney Ponson just gave up a homerun to Mark Grudzielanek in the bottom of the 5^th inning to give the Royals the lead. Pitching Coach Rick Anderson is returning to the dugout after talking to Ponson.)
Anderson knew it was not going to be a good exchange when he got back into the dugout, maybe that was why he was walking back so slow. His hands were sweating and the look on Vader’s face was terrifying him. Actually Vader didn’t really have a look on his face, seeing as he was wearing the same expressionless black helmet that he always wore, but it was still scary—even with the Twin’s hat on top of it.
“Ponson blew our cover with his non sinking sinker, the Royals knew that it was coming,” Vader stated as Anderson sat next to him.
“Ponson felt that it was just a bad pitch my lord,” Anderson replied.
“He is as clumsy as he is stupid,” Vader barked, “get me Perkins on the phone, he will now be in charge of this operation!”
As Vader left his seat everyone in the dugout quickly took their eyes off of Ponson. The infield had been holding a meeting at the pitching mound, but it soon broke up with first sight of Vader. Vader was still yards away when Ponson dropped the ball and grabbed his neck. Ponson had already been out of breath from the beating he was taking on the field, and it didn’t take long for him to fall.
Every pitcher in the bullpen was fidgety as they awaited Lord Vader’s pick. A sigh of relief could be heard from all of the right-handers as Vader pointed to his left arm, (but it was rumored that he was more machine now than man). Poor Glen Perkins looked more nervous than the troops on D-Day as he ran to the mound.
The exchange between Vader and Perkins was to the point. “Admiral Ponson is no longer in charge General Perkins,” Vader explained, “you are now in charge, do not fail me.”
As the Imperial March hummed in the background, two ground’s crewmen rushed out to drag Ponson off of the field. This had became a common scene at the Metradome and at ballparks around America; there was even a new feature on Baseball Tonight called “death gems” that featured the ground’s crew’s unique efforts at removing the Twin’s fallen pitchers.

Out West

By David Jensen

Few things are as sweet as a series sweep on the road. Rarely does a team put it all together and play near-flawless baseball for three games the way Minnesota did in Seattle.

The starting pitchers, Ortiz, Silva and Santana did quite well. They went 3-0 with a 2.66 ERA, striking out 11 while only waking three. Seattle hit .277 for the series, but did manage five home runs. Other than a three-run home run off Neshek, the Mariners managed very little against the bullpen. Nathan pitched 1 1/3 innings, gave up three hits and collected two saves.

As usual, the defense was top-flight. The Twins turned five double plays and committed one error. Dorn made the play of the young season in game two. With two on and two out in the ninth, Jose Vidro hit a sharp single to right. Dorn misplayed the ball, prompting the third base coach to send Beltre in to score the tying run. He recovered in time to throw it in to Castillo who relayed a perfect strike to cut down Beltre by five feet to preserve the victory.

At the plate the Twins were stellar. Hitting .315, they scored 22 runs while achieving only one home run. They tied a club record with eight doubles in game one. Joe Mauer continued his march to another batting title by going 4 for 8, driving in three runs and walking four times. The piranhas hit .305 and scored 11 runs. The four, five and six hitters in the lineup complimented them with a .342 average and 15 RBIs. Minnesota kept wearing out opposing catchers, stealing four bases on as many attempts. They’re now a perfect 18 for 18 on the season.

How rare a series this was was made evident the next night when we were hammered by the Royals. It wasn’t all Ponson’s fault, either. The next time the Twins completely out-class an opponent, cherish it, for it can turn sour in an instant.

As a keen observer of all aspects of the game, I take a special interest in the radio commentators. Seattle’s team calls a good game without extreme favoritism. All radio play-by-play announcers are “homers” to some extent, although being a homer is not a bad thing when not taken too far. They complimented Minnesota many times. The obvious: Mauer ruins the Mariners, Morneau is a beast, the Twins play great defense. They also talked about the plans for the new stadium.* They liked it, but called the lack of a retractable roof a big mistake.

I was disappointed when Felix Hernandez pitched poorly. He threw only 24 pitches and left the game with tightness in his elbow. I wanted to see how good he really is. Hopefully I’ll get to see him in person in August.

*Once again: We ain’t getting’ no stadium!

Wish I Were Here

Or Big Series, Big Innings by David Jensen

I was planning to write a column about a road trip to Seattle, and tell you about the Mariners ballpark. Unfortunately I didn’t have enough money. So I decided to listen to/watch the game and write it anyway.

I took my seat, scorecard and pencil in hand, eagerly awaiting the first pitch. I had a plate of rice and two salami sandwiches. (You call this ballpark food?) I would have killed for a Dome Dog and a Lienies. But I did have some Jim Beam sunflower seeds.

Tonight’s game is as important as a game in April can be. Coming off a 3-4 home stand against the AL East, Minnesota needs to start the road trip right. Seattle needs to see newly acquired pitcher Jeff Weaver do what they’re paying him for: shoring up the rotation behind Felix Hernandez and Jarrod Washburn. With the roof open in the first, Weaver did instead what the Yankees paid him to do, which was turn into jelly and give up runs.

Twins lead-off hitter Luis Castillo worked the count, but eventually struck out. Jason Tyner, hitting second and inspired by Tyler’s column, started a good night with a double. Joe Mauer drove him in with a double of his own. Not to be out-done, Michael Cuddyer followed with a drive of the left field wall over the out stretched glove of Raul Ibanez. Mauer trotted home and Cuddyer coasted into third. Weaver was able to stop the bleeding by retiring Morneau and Hunter.

Ramon Ortiz took the hill for the Twins hoping to continue his sterling start. I cringed as Ichiro sent his first pitch into the cool night air and over the wall for his 23^rd career, and second straight, leadoff home run. After giving up a one out single, Ortiz helped himself by starting an inning ending double play.

As the accursed roof closed in the second, both pitchers settled down. Weaver had a 1-2-3 inning and proceeded to pitch well through the fourth. Ortiz hit a batter and induced another double play. With the help of Luis Rodriguez, he retired 10 of the next 11 batters.

Rodriguez played brilliantly. Filling in for Nick Punto, L-Rod* made nine assists with six in a row at one point. He conquered “web gems” with a diving stop and seated throw to rob Ichiro of an infield hit.

In the fifth, Weaver turned into the pitcher who made countless enemies in New York and L.A. Bartlett, Castillo and Tyner hit consecutive singles. With one run in, Mauer showed us again what a great hitter he is by laying down a perfect sacrifice. After striking Dorn out for the second time, he intentionally walked Morneau to load the bases. Hunter came to the plate with a double and a hard hit out on the evening.

The Mariner worked ahead in the count. At 1-2, he grooved a 78 MPH change-up (or a very straight sinker, I’m not sure which) into Torii’s wheelhouse. The result was almost identical to a grand slam I saw him hit off Odalis Perez last year. As number 48 nobly rounded the bases, Weaver was showered with boos as he cursed and wished to God that he were a Big League pitcher.

The bottom of the sixth was an encouraging inning for Twins fans. Ortiz started it the same way he started the first, by giving up a solo home run. With two outs, Jose Vidro singled and Ibanez followed with a double. But Ramon didn’t crack. He got heavy hitting Richie Sexson to ground to third, stranding two.

In the seventh, he again worked out of a Two On, Two Out jam. His final line: 7 IP, 8 H, 2 ER. In three starts, he is 3-0 with a 2.05 ERA, exceeding all expectations. He is truly an inspiration to Carlos Silva, who goes up against Hernandez in game two.

The only misfortune for Minnesota on this night was Hunter hurting his shoulder while attempting to make a diving catch. He was listed as day-to-day, like the rest of us, after the game.

It was an all-around outstanding performance. Let’s hope they can keep it up throughout the road trip.

*The term L-Rod was coined by Lee Hulkonen.

BUM

By Tyler Savage
Quick question, without looking at the Twin's season stats, which Twin's starter is leading the team in ERA. whoa...whoa...whoa...not so fast, no his name does not start with S and end in antana. Our ERA leader also does not rhyme with cortiz, poof, and he damn well does not rhyme with wonson. Who does that leave left? Poor old defenseless Silva--the pitcher that has been whipped, beaten, castrated, and thrown in the ditch by the Twins beat writers (especially yours truly).
We are still very young into the season, but let's play pretend (this is great journalism) and think about what would happen if Silva goes 20-1 with a 1.00 ERA. If the Chef (I can't believe I used that nickname) pulls this off, he will not be the first Twin to prove me wrong; in fact, he is one of many on a long list of players whom I have labeled with the bum* card.
Here are two huge examples of me being wrong in the past. Let's start with subject #1: David Ortiz. In the early 00's (?), Ortiz struggled with the Twins. When he left, all I could say was good riddance. I also thought that Matt Lecroy would pan out to be a better hitter than Ortiz. Since these delusions, Ortiz ended the Bambino's Curse and damn near pulled off the MVP for the last two seasons. In this time span, all that Lecroy has done, is get pulled out of a game, halfway through an inning while playing catcher (first time since modern stats began). Well...he also made some good chips onto home plate before a few home games in Cambria's putt-putt challenge.
Let's look at my second blunder: Justin Morneau. After the Seattle series last year, I was convinced that Morneau was the Anti-Christ himself. While drunk at a game last year, I told Jensen that I was done with him. Since those syllables, Morneau went on arguably one of the greatest four month streak in baseball, where he hit-in over 130 RBI (not that they even matter...[another story...another time]). HOW DO YOU LIKE ME KNOW MR. SAVAGE?
So...let's start an experiment and see if this really works. Silva: he's a bum! Boof: Double bum! Ponson: the bummiest bum on bum island!

*In my opinion, calling a baseball player a bum is the lowest/most offensive thing that you can call him. It ranks above scrub, weasel, and a never was.

DL WOES

By: Sam Hansen (Intern)

Twins third baseman Nick Punto appears to be headed to the disabled list for a sprained ankle that occurred in practice. Joining the company of star slugger Rondell White and the pride of Phi Psi in Jeff Cirillo, the Twins deep bench seems to be running thin.
Twins Skipper Ron Gardenhire seemed to be disheartened with the news, but I look at this as a positive time. Punto, one of last years spark plugs that shot us into the playoffs, has struggled this season. Batting well below the famed Mendoza line at .132, this time will be well spent figuring out what he is doing wrong.
To be a realist, all of this would have been a non-issue had the Twins listened to me a few years ago. The Twins drafted an Iowa star catcher by the name of Jeff Clement in the 12th round in 2002. He ended up going to USC because he asked for a few more thousand than the Twins were willing to pay, then became the 3rd overall pick in 2004 by the Seattle Mariners. Though he is not a household name, he is tearing it up in the minor leagues and is a great power threat with great defensive skills as well. You heard it here folks, he will be a star very soon. Twins fans could have had him behind the plate, and Joe Mauer could have been our 3rd baseman easing the stress on his knees. Thus, keeping him more fresh and giving him a better shot at hitting .400.

Cold Piranhas

By the Numbers:
Punto BA after Friday's loss to D-Rays: .132
Bartlett BA after Friday: .087
Tyner BA after Friday: .182
Not to take anything away from Morneau, Mauer, Hunter, or Cuddyer; but I still feel like these three guys--especially Bartlett and Punto--had a huge part in last year's success.
A movie can have the big stars, but you need the supporting cast to get the Academy Award. If things don't change, I don't think the Oscar is possible
-TS

Small Market Blues Part 2

By David Jensen

In case you forgot, I was commenting on how the Twins do business.

And it works. The Twins won the AL Central with a 96-66 record last year. Meanwhile, the perennial big spending LA Dodgers spent almost $38 million more than the Twins to win the NL wild card with an 88-74 mark. Don’t forget that we swept the Dodgers in June. Over the past 6 seasons, LA has averaged 86 wins, made the playoffs twice and won the NL West once, and paid Kevin Brown and Darren Driefort, among others, a lot of money to do very little. In the same period, Minnesota has averaged 90 wins, won four division titles and made very few front office blunders. Damn you Phil Nevin!

Terry Ryan may be one of the best GM in baseball. He’s not a bad college president either. And the Pohlad family is standing behind him guarding the vault, occasionally swimming in it. Never letting us be completely happy. Whether it’s taxing and driving poor people from their homes, or selling us down the contraction river to Bud Selig, they’ll be there. But that should not keep us from securing the cornerstones, Mauer, Morneau, and Santana, at all costs.

Small Market Blues Part 1

By David Jensen

At times like these, when the Yankees come into The Dome and hammer the Twins, you will invariably hear the same sad song; we don’t have enough money to compete with them. It’s a convenient excuse. Even Theo Epstein used it after the Bombers took five in a row over Boston last September. Epstein, by the way, is responsible for the second highest payroll in baseball.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. It’s a lie! For years, we’ve been brain washed into thinking that giving out big contracts would put the Twins into bankruptcy. The truth is there are no small markets, only cheap owners. Do you really think there are far more Padres fans in southern California than Twins fans in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa and the Dakotas? Carl Pohlad is the 107^th richest man in America. Net worth $2.6 billion. It would be higher, but he’s given a lot of money to his kids the last few years. Pohlad is richer than Steinbrenner. He’s a true fat cat.

Not only has this robber baron convinced us that he is too poor for the Twins to compete, but he bamboozled Hennepin County into paying the lion’s share of the new stadium*. Consequently, we are resigned to the fact that Johan will be playing elsewhere in two years. There is a silver lining to this. If the Twins are 15 games back at the break, it boggles the mind to think what Terry Ryan could get for Santana. If the Cubs are involved, we could walk away with a whole farm team and a 49% stake in Wrigley Field plus the concession sales. But I would rather see Pohlad pony up the 200 million clams** to have Santana bring more Cy Youngs to Minnesota. The Twins haven’t made a significant productive free agent signing in ten years.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not calling for an all out spending spree on free agents in the off season. I like the way the Twins do business. I prefer the building and harvesting of a quality farm system to the signing of flash-in-the-pan free agents to outrageous contracts. Ryan is the master of the occasional shrewd trade for players entering their prime, rather than draining the minors for players on their way down and signing guys who will round out the line up nicely instead of relying on them to be the line up. To be continued.

*Altogether now: We ain’t gettin’ no stadium!

**If the market stays as it is now, and teams are desperate enough, don’t be shocked if he gets that over a long term deal.

New Stadium (that we ain't gettin) Comments

By Tyler Savage
Even though we are not getting a new stadium, I am impressed with what I am seeing today with the results of the new stadium's blue prints. I have to admit that I was really scared that the Twins were going to mess this thing up and we would end up with a stadium like the Astro's weird train track stadium.
It makes sense though, now this will make it that much more painful when we end up loosing the stadium and the Twins. I've been told I can be a glass is half empty type of guy, but their isn't much to complain about with the new plans. Very rarely do things live up to their hypes, but the new ballpark looks like it may.
My favorite things that I am seeing (which is still hard to see with the plans) has to be the outfield. Left field in particular stands out to me; You've got to love the upper deck in the outfield seats, I still love how the old Tiger stadium had the upper level seating all the way around the outfield. I also like the small upper level seating that can be found in the right field power alley region; These could defiantly become the new "seats". The outfield also looks like it has a bunch of box suites out in center field, I can't say I am a big fan of these, but at least it keeps the fat cats out of my hair.
I'm still a little lost when it comes to what is taking place in right field. It appears that if you are walking by the stadium that you can just stop on the street and you will have a great view of the ballpark (you'll have to look at the pictures to fully grasp this, it is hard to explain). This will let people stand around and watch the games, I guess that right field in San. Fransisco's ballpark is like this too. I don't understand how this works, it seems like you would have to have some type of rules to regulate this area--if they didn't, that would mean free season tickets by simply walking down to the park.
I only have one mini complaint, and it deals with the picture of the outside of the stadium. Is it just me, or does the outside of the stadium look identical to the newly remodeled Student Union at MSU?
If you haven't seen the new plans, go to twinsbaseball. com to see the plans. Someday these plans will be hanging in a bar in Minneapolis and we will all be sitting around reminiscing about the beautiful ballpark that we almost got in Minnesota (we ain't gettin no stadium).

Toughts On A-Rod

Quick Write:
If A-Rod keeps up the pace, he will hit 130 home-runs this year. Not since the Mighty Sarah has a hitter been so feared. (Jensen, you will be the only one who gets that one).
"Tis not a man! He's a remorselessly hitting beast!"
TS

Never Go Against The Family, Carlos

By David Jensen

This year, perhaps no Twin will be scrutinized more than Carlos Silva. I believe this is the third column the beat writers have devoted to him. Each night he starts, everyone will be wondering who will show up; the reliable sinker baller from 2004 & 05, or the fat load who gave up 38 gopher balls last year. In 2007, it was painful to watch him take the mound. He posted an 11-15 record with a 5.94 ERA. He allowed 12.3 hits per 9 IP and walked 32. Then was yanked out of the rotation and used rarely out of the bullpen. Can we expect him to get better?
He was never great. In his first two years with the Twins, he went 23-16. His 3.84 ERA was below the league average. He gave up a lot of hits, but was usually able to get out of jams. In 2005, I saw him pitch against the Orioles in in our beloved Dome. He pitched brilliantly for 9 innings, but he gave up a two-run shot in the eighth, and the Twins lost in 11. Not a Cy Young winner, but a fine 3rd starter.
Like Tyler said, he is not far from becoming Ponson. Everyday I expect to hear that he threw his back out while tying his shoes, or had to go to the hospital after choking on a six foot sandwich. (But will it be six feet in length or height?)
But maybe Rick Anderson can save him. So I will give him the same deal I gave to Morneau last year. If he has shown a marked improvement by June 1, I will support and cheer him on as a brother. But if he's still serving up batting practice, he'll be Fredo. You're dead to me Carlos! But let us not give up hope yet.

Sam's Shot at the Big Leauges...Should He Stay?

With the possible death of one Scott Doucett, we had to call up one of the interns from the minors and give them a shot at the starting rotation. Below is a rant written by one Sam Hansen, you get to decide if he belongs as a regular on the blog. Please judge Sam's performance in the comments for this blog. (note: the following entry was not edited or changed in any way by TBW staff).

No Title
By Sam Hansen

Santana gives up one hit over seven shutout innings, and many writers will say “It’s just another day at the park for him”. Ponson gives up 8 runs in 5 2/3 innings and I say the same thing. After the game, Ponson said “I’m not a guy to make excuses; I just didn’t pitch good today. That’s what it comes down to.” No Ponson, while you might not make excuses, you also don’t make good performances on the mound. You didn’t pitch good today? How about your career? Ponson is the epitome of below average. The poster child of “the one who had potential but nothing ever came of it. He is the hope of all of the “usta’s” and the “gonna’s” of the lazy world, who settle for what is given to them, but never do anything with it. There is nothing, and never has been anything great about Sidney Ponson. The Twins looked in the free agent market hoping to get veteran pitching to solidify a rotation early on so all of the young arms in triple A will have to wait yet another year before coming eligible for arbitration. This is the sole reason why pitchers like Matt Garza, Kevin Slowly, Glen Perkins, and Scott Baker are kept in the cocoon of the minor leagues. Yes, you can argue that Baker struggled in the major leagues last year and is not ready for the move. This may be true, but I will still take a guy who could be good over a guy who has proven for years that he is nothing more than a good minor league pitcher in a big league uniform. Don’t get me wrong, the signing of Ortiz was a solid move and with the help of Rick Anderson I believe will benefit the team. But as far as both Ponson and Carlos Silva go, they need to get out of town.

Twins Yanks game 1

By Tyler Savage

A look in the Future?
Yankees 8, Twins 2 (after 8 1/2). Tonight has been like a glimpse into the future...

Want to know where Carlos Silva will be in two years? Take a good look at Ponson tonight; It was like looking through a glass ball: Sinker pitcher, who when rarely on will be good, but mostly the sinker struggles to sink. Fat, overweight, and out-of-shape. Wasted talent and on his last chance in the bigs, before spending the rest of his years pitching in the Northern League for the Sioux Falls Canaries.

Ponson and Silva--two peas in a pod. "But Tyler, Silva pitched good, why did you choose to pick on him tonight!" Homers may say.

To these fools, I'll just say to wait...Ponson will be gone first, but his spirit will lurk on in Silva's carcass.

Side Notes:
Dorn sighting 2nd inning with base running blunder.

Blogger missing...presumed dead

By TS

Scott Doucett (Twins beatwriter, pictured left) is missing and presumed dead. Details are still sketchy, but it appears that he went missing last week while on assignment for twinsbeatwriters.blogspot.com.
In order to stay ahead of the competition, TBW has had to stay aggressive and innovative. Doucett was sent to Venezuela last week to scout future Twin's prospects. Doucett has made no contact since leaving, but editors for TBW received a ransom note last week from Venezuelan radicals.
His kidnappers demanded 2 million cash for his release. Editors at TBW are still trying to negotiate the release of Doucett, and on a side note may be looking for a new beatwriter.
TBW has learned a valuable lesson and will now only send interns on assignment.

TWINS/SOX RECAP

By Tyler Savage

While in Sioux Falls (with no internet access) I was not able to make a post on the latest White Sox series. So here you go Twin's fans:

Game 1 Friday: key to the game: The Cold. So cold, even Dennys Reyes had to put on a long sleeve shirt.

Game 2: Keys to the shame: Subject A: Cuddy (Dorn), forgetting that we play baseball with three outs. (Must have been to preoccupied with Rick Vaughn sleeping with his wife). Subject B: Dennys Reyes. Denny showed his true waddling spirit on a text book bunt. He can't run, but at least he can keep a man on base....er wait NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Game 3: Main man: Santana, don't need to say more. Nathan let some men on, but that's okay. The motto of a closer is that it is okay to bend...just don't break.

Look for more posts later this evening!!!

Comiskey's Legacy, By David Jensen

Unlike Tyler, I am not a bigot. If I hate someone, I have a very good reason, even if it doesn't make any sense. When it comes to the White Sox, there is no shortage of reasons to hold this odorous gang of clowns in contempt. First of all, they threw the World Series. In taking money from gamblers, they played us all for chumps. And if you're saying "But Dave, that was almost ninety years ago." you're missing the point. They went against everything that is honorable and almost killed major league baseball in the process.
They had a beautiful, intimate old ballpark, but they tore it down to build a cold, concrete monster.
Next, I hate to break it to you, but Chicago is a dump. If you're reading this, chances are it would be easier for you to go to Sioux City if you wanted to experience the exhilaration of being in Chicago. At least in Sioux City you'd be spending less money while you breathed in the stench of excrement and rotting hogs.
In the '90s, they had three captains of the goon squad all-stars; Frank Thomas, Albert Belle, and Jack Mcdowell. Every Twins fan should despise Jim Thome and Sandy Alomar for what they did to us when they played for Cleveland.
What about the people currently calling themselves White Sox? Owner Jerry Reinsdorf is a land grabbing lawyer. Bulls fans may love him for the six titles in the '90s. But then he dismantled the team in '98 dooming them to mediocrity for the next nine years and counting. Jermaine Dye is a decent player, but has no loyalty, even for a pro athlete. He bounces from city to city chasing the big money. Bobby Jenks has no discernible talent except for a decent fastball that should be solved sometime this July, and the ability to be morbidly obese. Catcher AJPierzynski is the most obnoxious player in living memory. Everything he does irritates someone on several levels. But without him and the gullibility of the Giants, we wouldn't have Nathan, Boof, and Liriano. Thusly making the Twins look brilliant for getting rid of an all-star catcher who bats .300. So next time he rambles on and looks dumb in front of the camera, just remember that he's only fulfilling his destiny. GM Ken Williams seems like a good guy. He recognizes when Ozzie makes an ass of himself and embarrasses the organization. He hates Frank Thomas, but I don't think he's that good of a GM. Let's see him win with Pittsburgh's money. This brings us to king clown: Ozzie Guillen. He shoots his mouth off just to get on espn, who eats it up with a spoon. I wonder how refreshing his comments will be once the winning stops.

I HATE THOSE GUYS!!!

By Tyler Savage
The other day while watching the Twins and Orioles, I saw a commercial for the upcoming series against the White Sox. By sheer instinct the words "I hate those assholes!" Rocketed out of my mouth. My wife hit me because I am working on censoring my language with my daughter getting older.
I couldn't help it though! There is much to hate about those…assholes (there is no other way to put em)! Maybe it is their manager who feels that he is free to say anything as long as he has his "no speaka" card. Perhaps I hate them because of their catcher who loves to piss people off. I really don't know the reason…I just hate them. (If I were grading this paper, I would get a low grade, because I am making statements and not showing my thinking, hopefully my students will not get word of this).
That's what's great about baseball; it is one of the only places in America where it is okay to hate a large group of people (a team) for no reason (and no…I am not a proponent for racism). So whatever your reason is…have fun this weekend hating the White Sox!

Bye, Bye Birdies, By David Jensen

For the first time in several years, the Twins are off to a fast start. With a 3 game sweep of the Orioles, they jump out to a .5 game lead over the Indians who have been beating up on the White Sox vaunted pitching staff. The opening series was vintage Twins baseball. Santana, Bonser, and most importantly, Ramon Ortiz had strong outings. Luis Castillo went 7-13 with 3 RBI and a stolen base. He is currently on pace for 270 infield hits! Joe Mauer is swinging the bat like the champion he is. Morneau is avoiding the slow start that almost made us forsake him last year. Micheal "Roger Dorn" Cuddyer busted out of a slump in the third game by going 3 for 3 with 2 RBI. Hell, even Rondell White had a web gem.
Meanwhile, the bullpen squashed all of the Orioles comeback attempts. 8 IP, 4 H, 0 R over the series. All this may be due to the fact that Baltimore isn't very good right now. No clutch hitting, poor starting pitching, and bungling in the field gets you swept every time. They have potential, but the Yanks and Red Sox don't have much to be worried about.
The offense seems to be on it's way, we'll see how Silva and Ponson do this weekend in Chicago.

Will Ramon Make Three????

By TS
Tonight should answer a lot of our questions about the rotation. Santana had one bad inning, but even with his worst night we still dominate. Boof looked solid last night, with his 6 innings and 2 ER.
Tonight should answer a lot of questions, if Ortiz looks like his 2003 form, things could get interesting.
I want to know what you think Twin's fans, give me a comment on how you think Ortiz will do tonight.

And Boof Makes Two...

TS

Breaking news from the game (via Watertown radio)
6 innings, 2 ER, solid start for Boof.
Nothing funny, just the facts folks.

Why I Love The Dome

By Tyler Savage

• Did you see that?: Animal control to the Metrodome, please. Prior to the game, a mouse scurried up the press box wall and made its way onto the front row table before hiding under a reporter's game notes. The mouse stayed long enough to scare several writers out of their seats.

-- ESPN.com news services

2007 "real" predictions

By Tyler Savage

AL:
East: Boston
Central: Twins
West: LA, Anaheim...whatever
Wild Card: Blue Jays
Worst Record: D-Rays
1000-1 shot: Royals
winner: Blue Jays
NL
East: Expos
Central: Cubs
West: Dodgers
Wild: Mets
Worst: Reds
1000-1 shot: Rockies
Winner: Cubs

World Series: CUBS in 4!!!!

Twins breakout performance: Rondell White