Tyler Savage
Since Dave brought me back to watching the Twins in 2002, Twins fans have suffered some bad karma. The problem is that I can't figure out what we are doing that is so bad that is causing us to suffer so much. Here is a brief recap of our bad luck:
2002: Twins make it to the playoffs while facing contraction. The crowd at the Dome before game 1 of the ALDS is crazy. I literally thought that Dave was going to punch me because he was so excited (he bought 10 homer hankies before the game). Oakland starts the game by hitting an inside the park home run--the crowd was dead. We later get defeated by the rally monkey in LA.
2003: Roger Clemens and his steroids defeat us in the ALDS.
2004: The Twins blow a huge lead in game 4 of the ALDS against the Yankees and Ruben Sierra hits a grand slam to tie the game. Kyle Lohse throws a wild pitch to give the Yankees the lead in extra innings, leaving Scotty speechless.
2005: The Twins spend 162 games trying to figure out how Ruben Sierra hit a grand slam to tie game 4 of the ALDS.
2006: After one of the greatest comebacks in the history of sports, the Twins lose three straight games to Oakland in the ALDS. To make matters worse, none of the games were night games, the season ended and many of us did not even get to see it.
2007: This was another season where the Twins spent 162 games trying to get over what happened to them the year before in the playoffs. They also get rid of Luis Castillo, Tori Hunter, and trade Johan Santana for a box of Cracker Jacks and a celebrity's a-line tank top.
Twins fans need to find out how to get karma back on our side. There are only two more seasons left for the Twins to get to the World Series at the Dome. I want to finish 2009 with a game 7 World Series win, while seeing it from the seats, and helping Dave steal a toilet from the Dome in celebration...is that too much to ask?
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Minnesota Punked.
I think we are going to be okay here guys.
Here's how I see this playing out...opening day at the dome, Scott Baker is just about to throw out the first pitch when Ashton Kutcher pops up 0n the jumbotron and says, "Yo, Minnesota Twins fans...you got punked!"
and after a series of fireworks, Johan cuts his way out of the baggie and comes running out of right field to throw a perfect game and lead us to an undefeated season.
I think that this is the only logical explanation for this crazy trade.
Here's how I see this playing out...opening day at the dome, Scott Baker is just about to throw out the first pitch when Ashton Kutcher pops up 0n the jumbotron and says, "Yo, Minnesota Twins fans...you got punked!"
and after a series of fireworks, Johan cuts his way out of the baggie and comes running out of right field to throw a perfect game and lead us to an undefeated season.
I think that this is the only logical explanation for this crazy trade.
Betrayed
Or: Welcome to Edmonton
By David Jensen
I read the news today, oh boy. All winter, the Twins had us standing on the gallows, and this week, the trap door swung open. I read the text message from a reliable source in New York, but I could not believe what it told me. "Johan traded to Mets." My chest sunk and I became sick. Surely they wouldn't do that to us. This had to be a cruel joke. It didn't add up. Why now? Why to the Mets? Who for? Carlos Gomez? How many Cy Youngs has he won? Who else? Three prospects? I'd better wake up now, I must be late for work. But this was no nightmare, and sad confirmation soon slammed home.
Then I was blinded by a thin ray of hope. "Deal pending contract extension." The days wore on and I limped through the motions of life. Maybe they won't come to terms. Maybe Johan doesn't want to play in New York. Maybe the Mets will reconsider. Maybe he'll exercise his no-trade clause and come home and all will be forgiven. But that couldn't happen. If a trade is aborted, things are never the same. The front office would quickly find a new deal. Or Santana's play would suffer. Even if he made it to the end of the season in Minnesota, he wouldn't resign after being treated that way.
Then, last night, my source sent word. "6 yrs 137 million." I went numb. That moment was the closest I've ever came to forsaking the Twins. Worse than any strike. Worse than steroids. Worse than Rick Reed. It was a pain few fans feel. Most fans complain that players have no loyalty. They call the talk radio shows and bitch about Johnny Damon, Plaxico Burress and Jason Giambi going after the big money. But we Twins, Royals, Rockies and A's fans get no loyalty from our franchises. They give us empty talk and cliches about the future and how they'll "try everything in their power...", but nothing ever changes.
I suppose I should take comfort in the fact that Morneau and Cuddyer were just signed to long term deals. But isn't that what they promised us after they won their stadium fight in one of the great bamboozelments of all time? They said they needed it to sign bigger contracts. Sure they signed Mauer too, but all I can think about is how we lost Castillo, Hunter and Santana. It's fitting that days before the trade, the foundation for the new stadium was poured. Pohlad must have been waiting until they couldn't take it back before he pulled the trigger. Be careful Carl, It's a long way until opening day 2010.
By David Jensen
I read the news today, oh boy. All winter, the Twins had us standing on the gallows, and this week, the trap door swung open. I read the text message from a reliable source in New York, but I could not believe what it told me. "Johan traded to Mets." My chest sunk and I became sick. Surely they wouldn't do that to us. This had to be a cruel joke. It didn't add up. Why now? Why to the Mets? Who for? Carlos Gomez? How many Cy Youngs has he won? Who else? Three prospects? I'd better wake up now, I must be late for work. But this was no nightmare, and sad confirmation soon slammed home.
Then I was blinded by a thin ray of hope. "Deal pending contract extension." The days wore on and I limped through the motions of life. Maybe they won't come to terms. Maybe Johan doesn't want to play in New York. Maybe the Mets will reconsider. Maybe he'll exercise his no-trade clause and come home and all will be forgiven. But that couldn't happen. If a trade is aborted, things are never the same. The front office would quickly find a new deal. Or Santana's play would suffer. Even if he made it to the end of the season in Minnesota, he wouldn't resign after being treated that way.
Then, last night, my source sent word. "6 yrs 137 million." I went numb. That moment was the closest I've ever came to forsaking the Twins. Worse than any strike. Worse than steroids. Worse than Rick Reed. It was a pain few fans feel. Most fans complain that players have no loyalty. They call the talk radio shows and bitch about Johnny Damon, Plaxico Burress and Jason Giambi going after the big money. But we Twins, Royals, Rockies and A's fans get no loyalty from our franchises. They give us empty talk and cliches about the future and how they'll "try everything in their power...", but nothing ever changes.
I suppose I should take comfort in the fact that Morneau and Cuddyer were just signed to long term deals. But isn't that what they promised us after they won their stadium fight in one of the great bamboozelments of all time? They said they needed it to sign bigger contracts. Sure they signed Mauer too, but all I can think about is how we lost Castillo, Hunter and Santana. It's fitting that days before the trade, the foundation for the new stadium was poured. Pohlad must have been waiting until they couldn't take it back before he pulled the trigger. Be careful Carl, It's a long way until opening day 2010.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
The Sport's Abyss
By Tyler Savage
Just when you think things couldn't get any better in the sports world...beware, the worst time of the year is quickly approaching. With the bowl season, and the NFL playoffs starting soon, right now is arguably the best time for sports. However, once the NFC/AFC championships end, we enter the real sport's abyss (P.A and Dubay will tell you that the abyss comes after the NBA Finals in the summer, but they are wrong).
The months of February and March could be the longest two months that there are. All that we have are Hockey, the NBA, and March Madness. If this had been 1988, we would be in for a sport's treat. It is not 1988, and all of these sports have gone straight to the crapper. Why did these sports get so bad? There are too many reasons, and I do not have the energy to go in depth. Here is the summary of why these sports went bad: Jordan was too good; the NHL gave out way to much money, and lost ESPN; and Kevin Garnett single handedly destroyed NCAA Basketball.
So...remember to enjoy these next few weeks of football. There will be two long months until the American Pastime starts up again. If you are dying for something to watch, check out American Gladiators II (Nitro's Revenge), it could be more exciting then Kobe Bryant and the NBA.
Just when you think things couldn't get any better in the sports world...beware, the worst time of the year is quickly approaching. With the bowl season, and the NFL playoffs starting soon, right now is arguably the best time for sports. However, once the NFC/AFC championships end, we enter the real sport's abyss (P.A and Dubay will tell you that the abyss comes after the NBA Finals in the summer, but they are wrong).
The months of February and March could be the longest two months that there are. All that we have are Hockey, the NBA, and March Madness. If this had been 1988, we would be in for a sport's treat. It is not 1988, and all of these sports have gone straight to the crapper. Why did these sports get so bad? There are too many reasons, and I do not have the energy to go in depth. Here is the summary of why these sports went bad: Jordan was too good; the NHL gave out way to much money, and lost ESPN; and Kevin Garnett single handedly destroyed NCAA Basketball.
So...remember to enjoy these next few weeks of football. There will be two long months until the American Pastime starts up again. If you are dying for something to watch, check out American Gladiators II (Nitro's Revenge), it could be more exciting then Kobe Bryant and the NBA.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
I've Been a Good Boy!
Christmas Wishes
Here are a few things that I would like from the Twins for Christmas:
1. New infield (does not apply to 1st base or Catcher).
2. To never see Punto or L-Rod again. (except on the bench with puppy dog eyes).
3. New fan base.
4. A Santana deal that gives us real players.
5. $2 beers.
6. Let the fans in early to see the Twins BP.
7. No more truck games between innings.
8. More kiss cam, less alien and other dumb cams.
9. NO more circle me Bert.
10. Steroid bobble head day featuring ridiculously muscular: Chuck Knoblock and Rondell White.
11. Bring back the glass over right and center field.
12. No adds on the baggy.
13. No more tee shirts that get shot out of an air gun.
14. Use technology to bring back Bob Casey's voice as the game announcer.
15. Dome Dogs that come in a miniature dome.
16. Young adult male run the bases day.
17. Change the Home-run porch to just plain left field.
18. Floppy hat give-away day.
19. Destroy the Terrace Suites. (implosion night)
20. Loan Shark Night (all loan sharks get in free in honor of Carl Pohlad's early real estate days where he foreclosed on houses during the depression).
21. Dome Dog/ Bratwurst swirl dog.
22. Create an intense rivalry against the D-Rays (Two Cities, Two Domes, One survivor! DOMEAGEDEN '08).
23. Rid our Piranha campaign with an honest ad slogan: "Little guys who swing at sinkers".
24. Instead of upgrading a few lucky fans to good seats, start a degrading seats program, where five bouncers come in and haul off three fat cats each game and throw them in the cheap seats.
25. Free mini-bat give away day (Must be at least OVER the age of 12).
Here are a few things that I would like from the Twins for Christmas:
1. New infield (does not apply to 1st base or Catcher).
2. To never see Punto or L-Rod again. (except on the bench with puppy dog eyes).
3. New fan base.
4. A Santana deal that gives us real players.
5. $2 beers.
6. Let the fans in early to see the Twins BP.
7. No more truck games between innings.
8. More kiss cam, less alien and other dumb cams.
9. NO more circle me Bert.
10. Steroid bobble head day featuring ridiculously muscular: Chuck Knoblock and Rondell White.
11. Bring back the glass over right and center field.
12. No adds on the baggy.
13. No more tee shirts that get shot out of an air gun.
14. Use technology to bring back Bob Casey's voice as the game announcer.
15. Dome Dogs that come in a miniature dome.
16. Young adult male run the bases day.
17. Change the Home-run porch to just plain left field.
18. Floppy hat give-away day.
19. Destroy the Terrace Suites. (implosion night)
20. Loan Shark Night (all loan sharks get in free in honor of Carl Pohlad's early real estate days where he foreclosed on houses during the depression).
21. Dome Dog/ Bratwurst swirl dog.
22. Create an intense rivalry against the D-Rays (Two Cities, Two Domes, One survivor! DOMEAGEDEN '08).
23. Rid our Piranha campaign with an honest ad slogan: "Little guys who swing at sinkers".
24. Instead of upgrading a few lucky fans to good seats, start a degrading seats program, where five bouncers come in and haul off three fat cats each game and throw them in the cheap seats.
25. Free mini-bat give away day (Must be at least OVER the age of 12).
Friday, December 21, 2007
GET ME A BASEBALL!!
By Tyler Savage
If Carlos Silva is worth 12 million dollars a year, I should be able to scrounge up at least 100 K's as a relief pitcher.
I seriously think it is time to rethink my carrier path and begin my pitching quest over Christmas Break. I should be ready by next year's winter meetings. With Johan probably being traded this season, I may even be the top free agent of '08.
On second thought, maybe it is just time to turn off the lights and end the professional circuits. Maybe Canaries baseball is where the heart of baseball is (sorry Dave, I know that you still hate the Canaries).
If Carlos Silva is worth 12 million dollars a year, I should be able to scrounge up at least 100 K's as a relief pitcher.
I seriously think it is time to rethink my carrier path and begin my pitching quest over Christmas Break. I should be ready by next year's winter meetings. With Johan probably being traded this season, I may even be the top free agent of '08.
On second thought, maybe it is just time to turn off the lights and end the professional circuits. Maybe Canaries baseball is where the heart of baseball is (sorry Dave, I know that you still hate the Canaries).
The New Sound out of Seattle
By David Jensen
You heard it here first!
Due to my proximity to Seattle, I have news that hasn't made it to the midwest yet. Carlos Silva is now a Mariner. Seattle signed Silva to a 4 year contract worth $48 million. The Mariners front office believes that the missing piece of the puzzle is another Jeff Weaver. Unfortunately for Silva, he is either not as good as Gil Meche, or the Mariners are not as dumb as the Royals. In the gross overpayment for starting pitching of the year in 2006, Meche got $58 million. Will Carlos defeat Roger Clemens for the 07 award? Only time will tell.
You heard it here first!
Due to my proximity to Seattle, I have news that hasn't made it to the midwest yet. Carlos Silva is now a Mariner. Seattle signed Silva to a 4 year contract worth $48 million. The Mariners front office believes that the missing piece of the puzzle is another Jeff Weaver. Unfortunately for Silva, he is either not as good as Gil Meche, or the Mariners are not as dumb as the Royals. In the gross overpayment for starting pitching of the year in 2006, Meche got $58 million. Will Carlos defeat Roger Clemens for the 07 award? Only time will tell.
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