WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT THERE!!

By Tyler Savage

On Saturday something happened in baseball that was one of the evilest things that threatens the integrity of our great sport. No…it was not when Barry Bonds hit his latest homerun to continue his pursuit of raping the homerun record (note: this is an evil that I have come to accept in life, it is kind of like smoking and gambling). The evil occurred in the game played between the Orioles and the Indians at Jacob’s Field.

The travesty occurred in the 6^th inning of the game, but it actually started in the 3^rd inning. Here is the scoop, the Orioles have a man on third and on first, the guy at the plate hits a good shot to right field that is caught. The Oriole on third base then tags up and scores by crossing home plate. However, the man on first base makes a huge folly, he leaves for second base without tagging up and is thrown out at first. The key point is that the Oriole’s player on third crossed home plate before his teammate was picked off of first—by rule, the run should have counted.

The fun really begins after this play takes place, because the umpires get the call wrong, and do not reward the birds with the point that they should have earned. This should not be a shock to any of us who follow baseball. Umpires get calls wrong all the time (not to this extent of course, but it does happen).

The evil that I have foreshadowed about occurred in the 6^th inning of the same game between the O’s and the Indians. The Orioles manager bitches and points to the replays, and the umpires actually go back in time, and reward the Orioles with the point that they should have gotten in the 3^rd inning. Last time I checked, this is not the NFL, and there is not instant replay in baseball. In fact, this may be the first time in the history of the game that an umpire has changed a call after an argument with a manager.

Umpires and managers fighting to resolve absolutely nothing is one of the many things that makes baseball great and unique. Earl Weaver did not get thrown out of countless number of games to get a call reversed. He did it for the sport, his despise for umpires, and to just argue like a child as an adult. If more calls get reversed like Saturday nights, the tradition of the game is at stake.

Cardinals reliever dies in car crash

Josh Hancock, a key cog at middle relief for the 2006 World Champion St. Louis Cardinals has died in a car crash. Hancock, a Cleveland native and Auburn University alum pitched for the Red Sox, Phillies, and Reds before joining the Cardinals last season. He was 29 years old.

Tonight's Cardinals/Cubs game has been postponed.

Dateline Venezuela: Blogger not missing, not dead...

By Scott Doucette

Before I start I have to clear something up. Contrary to common belief I was not kidnapped because of the value of my kidneys on the black market, but rather, because of my derogatory comments about Venezuelan phenom Carlos Silva. I wish to offer a public apology to Carlos and his family. That being said, lets blog.

First of all I'd like to thank fellow bloggers Tyler and Dave for holding down the fort while I was otherwise engaged. And no, I'm not upset about your attempt to replace me with an "intern".

My Venezuelan captors Enrique and Luis have been surprisingly kind and even though I was forced to marry their youngest daughter (it was a beautiful wedding), I've actually been enjoying myself down here. My farmer's tan is in full effect and I've had more than my fill of undercooked goat and wild rice. Needless to say, a return to the states is not expected any time soon and now that I've gained access to the town computer I will be blogging regularly from my new home. Oh yeah, the people here seem to think Johan Santana is pretty good. They love their baseball, and believe it or not, most are big Twins fans. I watch all the games at a local Fuddruckers with Enrique and I have to say that I'm a little disappointed in the bats lately.

Going into the season I was skeptical of a lineup that has done nothing to prove me wrong. Of course our big guns are producing: The Big Baby Jesus, Joe Mauer, continues to hit and Cuddy continues to "smell em", while Morneau and Hunter are where they need to be, but at this point I'd like to trade in a couple of our Little Piranhas for one big damn Killer Whale. Nick Punto and Jason Bartlett have yet to show the talent that won them starting jobs last year while a platoon system at DH of Jason Kubel, Jason Tyner, and Mike Redmond, somwhow, does not seem to intimidate opposing pitchers. The offense has been affetive at times but it now seems that the pitching staff everyone was questioning going into the season might be just fine whereas our fun little lineup might be just that. Little fun to watch.

Prove me wrong fellas. Prove me wrong.

Pitfalls, Quicksand and Footholds

By David Jensen

April 19^th, Minnesota is an AL best 10-5 and in first place in the central by one game. Behind them was a road sweep of division leader Seattle. Ahead of them is a stretch of 10 straight divisional opponents, five against the lowly Royals. On April 26^th, the Twins are 11-10 and searching for answers. In six days, they lost twice to Cleveland and three times to those Royals and slipped to fourth in the division. Such is baseball. In a game based on failure, losing streaks are inevitable.

When a team is riding high, the trap door can open suddenly and seemingly without reason. Since leaving Seattle, Twins starting pitchers are 0-4 with a 6.03 ERA. The bullpen has continued to perform well, but with so much extra work, the dam is bound to break, i.e. the 11^th inning versus Cleveland on Monday.

Coupled with poor starting pitching, one would think that Luis Castillo’s injury has played a major role in Minnesota’s struggles. He hasn’t played since straining his left quadriceps April 19^th. His replacement, 22 year-old Alexi Casilla, has batted .393 and committed one error. As a team, Minnesota committed four errors, as many as their opponents.

Casilla isn’t the only one swinging a hot bat. In the last six games, Torii Hunter is hitting .360 with four doubles. Joe Mauer is hitting at a .435 clip. Nick Punto has batted .304, raising his season average 57 points.

With the table setters getting on base, we come to the four and five hitters. Dorn has hit a measly .208 with two RBIs and two extra base hits. Somehow Morneau has managed to do even less. He has one hit in his last 17 at-bats. Since leaving Seattle, he has just one RBI and one walk. With that kind of production from those two, the Twins will have little chance of overcoming a poor pitching performance.

The Twins had one last chance to salvage some respect before going to Detroit. Remembering the old cliché “momentum is today’s starting pitcher”, I listened and hoped. Boof wobbled, walking a career high seven Royals, but never fell in five shutout innings. He helped himself with eight strikeouts, tying a career high. Zack Greinke had the same type of day, giving the Twins many chances, but he always found a way to squirm out of trouble before leaving after the seventh. Greinke started the second by beaning Hunter in the face, sending him to the hospital for stitches. Neither bullpen gave up much through 10 innings.

Dorn led off the 11^th by grounding out to short. Morneau came up next with no hits in four at-bats on the day. But, like the warrior he is, he put the slump out of his mind and lined a long single off the baggy. He advanced to second on a seeing-eye single by Tyner. That set the stage for Mike Redmond. Predictably, the best hitting catcher in the game came through with a single to drive in the winning run. When the reigning MVP hits, good things happen. Like Dan Gladden said on the broadcast; “I don’t care what caliber of hitter you are, you’re gonna go through some one-for-twenty-one slumps”. Let’s hope it doesn’t follow him to Detroit.

The Royals Strike Back

By Tyler Savage

On Saturday I watched the Empire Strikes Back for the first time in a year or so. I never realized how ruthless Darth Vader was with the admirals in the Galactic Empire. It really got me thinking...what if Darth Vader managed the Twins? Here is a small picture of what it might look like.

(Note: Twins and Royals, game one, Friday night. Sydney Ponson just gave up a homerun to Mark Grudzielanek in the bottom of the 5^th inning to give the Royals the lead. Pitching Coach Rick Anderson is returning to the dugout after talking to Ponson.)
Anderson knew it was not going to be a good exchange when he got back into the dugout, maybe that was why he was walking back so slow. His hands were sweating and the look on Vader’s face was terrifying him. Actually Vader didn’t really have a look on his face, seeing as he was wearing the same expressionless black helmet that he always wore, but it was still scary—even with the Twin’s hat on top of it.
“Ponson blew our cover with his non sinking sinker, the Royals knew that it was coming,” Vader stated as Anderson sat next to him.
“Ponson felt that it was just a bad pitch my lord,” Anderson replied.
“He is as clumsy as he is stupid,” Vader barked, “get me Perkins on the phone, he will now be in charge of this operation!”
As Vader left his seat everyone in the dugout quickly took their eyes off of Ponson. The infield had been holding a meeting at the pitching mound, but it soon broke up with first sight of Vader. Vader was still yards away when Ponson dropped the ball and grabbed his neck. Ponson had already been out of breath from the beating he was taking on the field, and it didn’t take long for him to fall.
Every pitcher in the bullpen was fidgety as they awaited Lord Vader’s pick. A sigh of relief could be heard from all of the right-handers as Vader pointed to his left arm, (but it was rumored that he was more machine now than man). Poor Glen Perkins looked more nervous than the troops on D-Day as he ran to the mound.
The exchange between Vader and Perkins was to the point. “Admiral Ponson is no longer in charge General Perkins,” Vader explained, “you are now in charge, do not fail me.”
As the Imperial March hummed in the background, two ground’s crewmen rushed out to drag Ponson off of the field. This had became a common scene at the Metradome and at ballparks around America; there was even a new feature on Baseball Tonight called “death gems” that featured the ground’s crew’s unique efforts at removing the Twin’s fallen pitchers.

Out West

By David Jensen

Few things are as sweet as a series sweep on the road. Rarely does a team put it all together and play near-flawless baseball for three games the way Minnesota did in Seattle.

The starting pitchers, Ortiz, Silva and Santana did quite well. They went 3-0 with a 2.66 ERA, striking out 11 while only waking three. Seattle hit .277 for the series, but did manage five home runs. Other than a three-run home run off Neshek, the Mariners managed very little against the bullpen. Nathan pitched 1 1/3 innings, gave up three hits and collected two saves.

As usual, the defense was top-flight. The Twins turned five double plays and committed one error. Dorn made the play of the young season in game two. With two on and two out in the ninth, Jose Vidro hit a sharp single to right. Dorn misplayed the ball, prompting the third base coach to send Beltre in to score the tying run. He recovered in time to throw it in to Castillo who relayed a perfect strike to cut down Beltre by five feet to preserve the victory.

At the plate the Twins were stellar. Hitting .315, they scored 22 runs while achieving only one home run. They tied a club record with eight doubles in game one. Joe Mauer continued his march to another batting title by going 4 for 8, driving in three runs and walking four times. The piranhas hit .305 and scored 11 runs. The four, five and six hitters in the lineup complimented them with a .342 average and 15 RBIs. Minnesota kept wearing out opposing catchers, stealing four bases on as many attempts. They’re now a perfect 18 for 18 on the season.

How rare a series this was was made evident the next night when we were hammered by the Royals. It wasn’t all Ponson’s fault, either. The next time the Twins completely out-class an opponent, cherish it, for it can turn sour in an instant.

As a keen observer of all aspects of the game, I take a special interest in the radio commentators. Seattle’s team calls a good game without extreme favoritism. All radio play-by-play announcers are “homers” to some extent, although being a homer is not a bad thing when not taken too far. They complimented Minnesota many times. The obvious: Mauer ruins the Mariners, Morneau is a beast, the Twins play great defense. They also talked about the plans for the new stadium.* They liked it, but called the lack of a retractable roof a big mistake.

I was disappointed when Felix Hernandez pitched poorly. He threw only 24 pitches and left the game with tightness in his elbow. I wanted to see how good he really is. Hopefully I’ll get to see him in person in August.

*Once again: We ain’t getting’ no stadium!

Wish I Were Here

Or Big Series, Big Innings by David Jensen

I was planning to write a column about a road trip to Seattle, and tell you about the Mariners ballpark. Unfortunately I didn’t have enough money. So I decided to listen to/watch the game and write it anyway.

I took my seat, scorecard and pencil in hand, eagerly awaiting the first pitch. I had a plate of rice and two salami sandwiches. (You call this ballpark food?) I would have killed for a Dome Dog and a Lienies. But I did have some Jim Beam sunflower seeds.

Tonight’s game is as important as a game in April can be. Coming off a 3-4 home stand against the AL East, Minnesota needs to start the road trip right. Seattle needs to see newly acquired pitcher Jeff Weaver do what they’re paying him for: shoring up the rotation behind Felix Hernandez and Jarrod Washburn. With the roof open in the first, Weaver did instead what the Yankees paid him to do, which was turn into jelly and give up runs.

Twins lead-off hitter Luis Castillo worked the count, but eventually struck out. Jason Tyner, hitting second and inspired by Tyler’s column, started a good night with a double. Joe Mauer drove him in with a double of his own. Not to be out-done, Michael Cuddyer followed with a drive of the left field wall over the out stretched glove of Raul Ibanez. Mauer trotted home and Cuddyer coasted into third. Weaver was able to stop the bleeding by retiring Morneau and Hunter.

Ramon Ortiz took the hill for the Twins hoping to continue his sterling start. I cringed as Ichiro sent his first pitch into the cool night air and over the wall for his 23^rd career, and second straight, leadoff home run. After giving up a one out single, Ortiz helped himself by starting an inning ending double play.

As the accursed roof closed in the second, both pitchers settled down. Weaver had a 1-2-3 inning and proceeded to pitch well through the fourth. Ortiz hit a batter and induced another double play. With the help of Luis Rodriguez, he retired 10 of the next 11 batters.

Rodriguez played brilliantly. Filling in for Nick Punto, L-Rod* made nine assists with six in a row at one point. He conquered “web gems” with a diving stop and seated throw to rob Ichiro of an infield hit.

In the fifth, Weaver turned into the pitcher who made countless enemies in New York and L.A. Bartlett, Castillo and Tyner hit consecutive singles. With one run in, Mauer showed us again what a great hitter he is by laying down a perfect sacrifice. After striking Dorn out for the second time, he intentionally walked Morneau to load the bases. Hunter came to the plate with a double and a hard hit out on the evening.

The Mariner worked ahead in the count. At 1-2, he grooved a 78 MPH change-up (or a very straight sinker, I’m not sure which) into Torii’s wheelhouse. The result was almost identical to a grand slam I saw him hit off Odalis Perez last year. As number 48 nobly rounded the bases, Weaver was showered with boos as he cursed and wished to God that he were a Big League pitcher.

The bottom of the sixth was an encouraging inning for Twins fans. Ortiz started it the same way he started the first, by giving up a solo home run. With two outs, Jose Vidro singled and Ibanez followed with a double. But Ramon didn’t crack. He got heavy hitting Richie Sexson to ground to third, stranding two.

In the seventh, he again worked out of a Two On, Two Out jam. His final line: 7 IP, 8 H, 2 ER. In three starts, he is 3-0 with a 2.05 ERA, exceeding all expectations. He is truly an inspiration to Carlos Silva, who goes up against Hernandez in game two.

The only misfortune for Minnesota on this night was Hunter hurting his shoulder while attempting to make a diving catch. He was listed as day-to-day, like the rest of us, after the game.

It was an all-around outstanding performance. Let’s hope they can keep it up throughout the road trip.

*The term L-Rod was coined by Lee Hulkonen.