By Tyler Savage
Just when you think things couldn't get any better in the sports world...beware, the worst time of the year is quickly approaching. With the bowl season, and the NFL playoffs starting soon, right now is arguably the best time for sports. However, once the NFC/AFC championships end, we enter the real sport's abyss (P.A and Dubay will tell you that the abyss comes after the NBA Finals in the summer, but they are wrong).
The months of February and March could be the longest two months that there are. All that we have are Hockey, the NBA, and March Madness. If this had been 1988, we would be in for a sport's treat. It is not 1988, and all of these sports have gone straight to the crapper. Why did these sports get so bad? There are too many reasons, and I do not have the energy to go in depth. Here is the summary of why these sports went bad: Jordan was too good; the NHL gave out way to much money, and lost ESPN; and Kevin Garnett single handedly destroyed NCAA Basketball.
So...remember to enjoy these next few weeks of football. There will be two long months until the American Pastime starts up again. If you are dying for something to watch, check out American Gladiators II (Nitro's Revenge), it could be more exciting then Kobe Bryant and the NBA.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
I've Been a Good Boy!
Christmas Wishes
Here are a few things that I would like from the Twins for Christmas:
1. New infield (does not apply to 1st base or Catcher).
2. To never see Punto or L-Rod again. (except on the bench with puppy dog eyes).
3. New fan base.
4. A Santana deal that gives us real players.
5. $2 beers.
6. Let the fans in early to see the Twins BP.
7. No more truck games between innings.
8. More kiss cam, less alien and other dumb cams.
9. NO more circle me Bert.
10. Steroid bobble head day featuring ridiculously muscular: Chuck Knoblock and Rondell White.
11. Bring back the glass over right and center field.
12. No adds on the baggy.
13. No more tee shirts that get shot out of an air gun.
14. Use technology to bring back Bob Casey's voice as the game announcer.
15. Dome Dogs that come in a miniature dome.
16. Young adult male run the bases day.
17. Change the Home-run porch to just plain left field.
18. Floppy hat give-away day.
19. Destroy the Terrace Suites. (implosion night)
20. Loan Shark Night (all loan sharks get in free in honor of Carl Pohlad's early real estate days where he foreclosed on houses during the depression).
21. Dome Dog/ Bratwurst swirl dog.
22. Create an intense rivalry against the D-Rays (Two Cities, Two Domes, One survivor! DOMEAGEDEN '08).
23. Rid our Piranha campaign with an honest ad slogan: "Little guys who swing at sinkers".
24. Instead of upgrading a few lucky fans to good seats, start a degrading seats program, where five bouncers come in and haul off three fat cats each game and throw them in the cheap seats.
25. Free mini-bat give away day (Must be at least OVER the age of 12).
Here are a few things that I would like from the Twins for Christmas:
1. New infield (does not apply to 1st base or Catcher).
2. To never see Punto or L-Rod again. (except on the bench with puppy dog eyes).
3. New fan base.
4. A Santana deal that gives us real players.
5. $2 beers.
6. Let the fans in early to see the Twins BP.
7. No more truck games between innings.
8. More kiss cam, less alien and other dumb cams.
9. NO more circle me Bert.
10. Steroid bobble head day featuring ridiculously muscular: Chuck Knoblock and Rondell White.
11. Bring back the glass over right and center field.
12. No adds on the baggy.
13. No more tee shirts that get shot out of an air gun.
14. Use technology to bring back Bob Casey's voice as the game announcer.
15. Dome Dogs that come in a miniature dome.
16. Young adult male run the bases day.
17. Change the Home-run porch to just plain left field.
18. Floppy hat give-away day.
19. Destroy the Terrace Suites. (implosion night)
20. Loan Shark Night (all loan sharks get in free in honor of Carl Pohlad's early real estate days where he foreclosed on houses during the depression).
21. Dome Dog/ Bratwurst swirl dog.
22. Create an intense rivalry against the D-Rays (Two Cities, Two Domes, One survivor! DOMEAGEDEN '08).
23. Rid our Piranha campaign with an honest ad slogan: "Little guys who swing at sinkers".
24. Instead of upgrading a few lucky fans to good seats, start a degrading seats program, where five bouncers come in and haul off three fat cats each game and throw them in the cheap seats.
25. Free mini-bat give away day (Must be at least OVER the age of 12).
Friday, December 21, 2007
GET ME A BASEBALL!!
By Tyler Savage
If Carlos Silva is worth 12 million dollars a year, I should be able to scrounge up at least 100 K's as a relief pitcher.
I seriously think it is time to rethink my carrier path and begin my pitching quest over Christmas Break. I should be ready by next year's winter meetings. With Johan probably being traded this season, I may even be the top free agent of '08.
On second thought, maybe it is just time to turn off the lights and end the professional circuits. Maybe Canaries baseball is where the heart of baseball is (sorry Dave, I know that you still hate the Canaries).
If Carlos Silva is worth 12 million dollars a year, I should be able to scrounge up at least 100 K's as a relief pitcher.
I seriously think it is time to rethink my carrier path and begin my pitching quest over Christmas Break. I should be ready by next year's winter meetings. With Johan probably being traded this season, I may even be the top free agent of '08.
On second thought, maybe it is just time to turn off the lights and end the professional circuits. Maybe Canaries baseball is where the heart of baseball is (sorry Dave, I know that you still hate the Canaries).
The New Sound out of Seattle
By David Jensen
You heard it here first!
Due to my proximity to Seattle, I have news that hasn't made it to the midwest yet. Carlos Silva is now a Mariner. Seattle signed Silva to a 4 year contract worth $48 million. The Mariners front office believes that the missing piece of the puzzle is another Jeff Weaver. Unfortunately for Silva, he is either not as good as Gil Meche, or the Mariners are not as dumb as the Royals. In the gross overpayment for starting pitching of the year in 2006, Meche got $58 million. Will Carlos defeat Roger Clemens for the 07 award? Only time will tell.
You heard it here first!
Due to my proximity to Seattle, I have news that hasn't made it to the midwest yet. Carlos Silva is now a Mariner. Seattle signed Silva to a 4 year contract worth $48 million. The Mariners front office believes that the missing piece of the puzzle is another Jeff Weaver. Unfortunately for Silva, he is either not as good as Gil Meche, or the Mariners are not as dumb as the Royals. In the gross overpayment for starting pitching of the year in 2006, Meche got $58 million. Will Carlos defeat Roger Clemens for the 07 award? Only time will tell.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Adventures in Low Definition TV
By Tyler Savage
In the year 2009 all TV's are required to be in High Definition. Last night instead of going forward towards the quest for Hi-Def, I took many humiliating steps backwards.
With bills pilling up last year, I decided to start pinching pennies by cutting back on my cable bill. Instead of high speed internet and basic cable, I went for limited internet and limited cable. The results were a savings of 60 bucks a month; the dark side was that there was no more ESPN, which meant no Sports Center, and no Monday Night Football.
My friends, you are starting to see my issues. My TV problems grew in September when my ok TV (it was a big tube TV), flashed a white screen and never turned on again! The outcome is that I am now watching all of my football on a mini 13-inch TV from the kitchen.
This last Monday was the crescendo of my TV misery when the Vikings played on ESPN with playoff aspirations. I decided to stay at home and listen to the game on the radio, and pout for during the three hours of the game.
While I was listening to the game, I decided to turn the TV to ESPN. Deep down, I was holding my breath hoping that maybe the sports gods would look down on me and Monday Night Football would magically come on the screen; I also had tried this technique with the Playboy Channel when I was thirteen. Sadly, there was nothing but fuzz on the TV screen when I got the clicker onto ESPN. I was about to turn the channel, when I thought that I saw a jersey number in the scrambled fuzz on the screen. After squinting my eyes, I realized that I could see a little bit of the game, but only when the camera was in an extreme close-up.
After about 15 minutes of messing with the color and contrast of my 13 inch TV, I was able to almost make out which team was running the ball--this was still better than nothing! With this scrambled picture and the radio play-by-play, I was back in the game!
While many people watched the Vikings game on a Hi-def flat screen TV, and while many fans were live and in person at the game, I spent two hours watching the Vikings and Bears game in extreme low-definition television. It wouldn't have been bad, if my wife hadn't seen this pathetic display on her way to bed. I really think that she might think that I am crazy.
In the year 2009 all TV's are required to be in High Definition. Last night instead of going forward towards the quest for Hi-Def, I took many humiliating steps backwards.
With bills pilling up last year, I decided to start pinching pennies by cutting back on my cable bill. Instead of high speed internet and basic cable, I went for limited internet and limited cable. The results were a savings of 60 bucks a month; the dark side was that there was no more ESPN, which meant no Sports Center, and no Monday Night Football.
My friends, you are starting to see my issues. My TV problems grew in September when my ok TV (it was a big tube TV), flashed a white screen and never turned on again! The outcome is that I am now watching all of my football on a mini 13-inch TV from the kitchen.
This last Monday was the crescendo of my TV misery when the Vikings played on ESPN with playoff aspirations. I decided to stay at home and listen to the game on the radio, and pout for during the three hours of the game.
While I was listening to the game, I decided to turn the TV to ESPN. Deep down, I was holding my breath hoping that maybe the sports gods would look down on me and Monday Night Football would magically come on the screen; I also had tried this technique with the Playboy Channel when I was thirteen. Sadly, there was nothing but fuzz on the TV screen when I got the clicker onto ESPN. I was about to turn the channel, when I thought that I saw a jersey number in the scrambled fuzz on the screen. After squinting my eyes, I realized that I could see a little bit of the game, but only when the camera was in an extreme close-up.
After about 15 minutes of messing with the color and contrast of my 13 inch TV, I was able to almost make out which team was running the ball--this was still better than nothing! With this scrambled picture and the radio play-by-play, I was back in the game!
While many people watched the Vikings game on a Hi-def flat screen TV, and while many fans were live and in person at the game, I spent two hours watching the Vikings and Bears game in extreme low-definition television. It wouldn't have been bad, if my wife hadn't seen this pathetic display on her way to bed. I really think that she might think that I am crazy.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Bringing Hope
By David Jensen
It’s been one hell of a November for Bill Smith. He’s made one small trade, one big trade and is rumored to have two giant ones in the making. He’s made no free agent signings, which is good and bad, and isn’t really letting on what will happen with Johan Santana.
Smith’s priority this winter has been to improve an offensive lineup that featured six outs in 2007. The first trade he made should have shocked no one. He sent a player to be named to the Cubs for OF Craig Monroe.
A few days after making that trade, Torii Hunter signed a five year, $90 million deal with the Angels. The Twins offered Hunter a 3 year deal worth $45 million, despite knowing he would not sign such a short term contract.
On the 28th, under cover of darkness, Smith shocked realist Twins fans. He made a six player trade with
The centerpiece of the deal is OF Delmon Young. You may remember him for throwing his bat at an umpire in 06, which got him suspended for 50 games. In 07, Young had troubles with manager Joe Maddon. Young was pulled from a game in September for not running out a ground ball. Young later apologized and was allowed to play in the season finale. Despite his troubles, he is an outstanding talent. In 07, he compiled a .288 BA, 186 hits, 38 doubles, 13 HR, and 93 RBI on his way to being voted 2nd in the AL Rookie of the Year race. He was 2nd in the league in AB (645) and 7th in singles (135) with out missing a game. He also had 16 outfield assists with four errors in RF and CF. But there is room for improvement. He struck out 127 times to only 26 walks and led the league in double plays (23) and outs (492). With experience and coaching, he’ll develop plate discipline.
Going to the Devil Rays are Jason Bartlett, Matt Garza and Eduardo Morlan. The trade shakes up a Twins infield in which
Juan Rincon was thought to be part of the trade, but was replaced by Morlan at the last minute.
Still Twins: Johan Santana, Joe Nathan, Juan Rincon and Jason Kubel. But, for how long?
Sunday, November 25, 2007
The Best, Worst, and Likely Off-Season Scenario
By: Sam Hansen
Well Twins fans, T-Hunt is gone, and there are rumors floating of Santana and Nathan possibly being traded this off-season. Here is a list of why the Twins did not do things right this last season, and what could happen this year.
During the 2007 season, Twins management acted poorly. We had a couple options. One, we could have made a push for the post-season and spent the $2 million on retaining Luis Castillo and went after another big hitter. Option two, the Twins could have given up on the 2007 season, dump off Castillo, Hunter, and maybe Rincon for some good talent to replace them to make a better run at the 2008 year. Instead, the Twins chose to do a half ass job on both 2007 and 2008. We dumped Castillo for nothing in return, and though we all knew deep down the Twins had no chance of re-signing Hunter, yet we never shopped him out, so we got nothing in return just like Papa Ortiz. Now Santana is upset, and we will now analyze what will happen no matter what they do.
The best case scenario folks, is that the Twins shop Santana, because we can't afford the $20 million/year he no doubt will command. This has not worked for large market teams, and will be a recipe for disaster if we try it here. So, who should we trade him for? This has the chance to be the biggest trade since Griffey Jr., I say we ship him to the Mets. They can afford him, Johan will get to hit, and the Twins won't face him barring inter-league play or (cough, cough) the World Series. Jose Reyes is the most exciting player in the Major leagues, and would give the Twins a table setter at the top of the lineup. He plays with the same style as we do, leading the majors with 77 stolen bases. They won't give up David Wright, and Reyes is signed through the 2011 season making about 6-7 million per year. In our price range. We get him and one or two top outfield prospects and we have to do it. Santana leaving hurts, but him leaving with nothing in return is like amputation with nothing to make it better. We do that, then trade Juan Rincon and another young pitcher for a Garret Atkins or someone like him, and we have a fun team with a chance to do things.
Worst case scenario, the Twins will think that we have a contending team and decide to stick with our current club. This shows me that we are simply too lazy to work anything out and let things go by before doing anything with it. Johan is not happy here, and we need to make the best of a bad situation. But that being said, nothing goes on this off-season in re-signing talks, then the Twins get off to a good start, everything seems fine. We start to decline with an injury or just bad play, then Johan walks just like Torii without getting anything back.
Most likely, Johan will be traded for a thousand dollars and a couple boxes of batting practice baseballs, maybe some bats if we're lucky. Nathan will be gone too, and Minnesota side armer Pat Neshek will be the closer. Mauer and Morneau would be next in line, and who knows what will happen then.
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