Devil Rays Series

-Quick Stat from D-Rays series: In a three game series, the Twins had 42 hits. They only scored 16 runs from these 42 hits--9 of which came in game 1.

-Other D-Ray news: Sadly, you can no longer shop for furniture at Tropicana Field.
Saddest News: We appear to be back in the 2005 season.

-Carols Silva Still making the Twins beatwriters look foolish.
-TS

Knicks Beat Writer

By Tyler Savage

So…the Twins have been so boring to watch in the last few weeks that it has come to this--I have actually started watching the NBA again tonight.

Why did I stop watching the NBA you might ask, well…I am a Knicks fan. Since I graduated from high school, we have been having some rough years, and we encountered a small bump in the road (Isaiah Thomas).

Sadly, the Knicks had a huge meltdown at the end of the year and we missed the playoffs again. However, there are still many enemies of the Knicks who made the playoffs that we need to rally against, let’s take a look at a few.

Out of the mix:

Indiana Pacers: Did not make playoffs (I think)
Rivalry History: The Knicks have met the Pacers in the Eastern Conference Semi Finals twice, and in the Eastern Conference Finals three times.
High Point: ’98, beating the Pacer’s in the Finals as a #8 seed.
Low Point: ’95, Ewing missing a lay-up at the buzzer to loose game 7! (Honorable mention: same year, Reggie Miller scoring 20 points in the last .08 seconds of game 1 of the series, and going in the stands and choke slamming Spike Lee [that's what I remember]).

Miami Heat: Lost to the Bulls!
Rivalry History: Late 90’s, met in the playoffs four times.
High Point: ’98, round one, Allen Houston buzzer beater from the free-throw line to win the series.
Low Point: ’97, loosing to the Heat in game 7 of the Eastern Conference Semis. The reason: we were looking ahead to the Bulls, Jordan was scared…

Still in mix: Cheer against!

Houston Rockets: Game 7 tonight against Utah
Rivalry History: Met once in the 1994 NBA Finals.
High Point: Leaving NY after game 5, up 3-2, John Starks is our savior
Low Point: John Starks game 7 (never recovered)

Chicago Bulls (biggest Foe of 90’s)
Rivalry History: Met 5 times in the Eastern Conference Playoffs in the 90’s
High Point: After years of hell, Jordan retires, and we take out the Bulls in 94
Low Point: TIE: Jordan dunking over Starks at the Garden/Jordan coming out of retirement

DAMN IT TWINS…GET IT TOGETHER!

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT THERE!!

By Tyler Savage

On Saturday something happened in baseball that was one of the evilest things that threatens the integrity of our great sport. No…it was not when Barry Bonds hit his latest homerun to continue his pursuit of raping the homerun record (note: this is an evil that I have come to accept in life, it is kind of like smoking and gambling). The evil occurred in the game played between the Orioles and the Indians at Jacob’s Field.

The travesty occurred in the 6^th inning of the game, but it actually started in the 3^rd inning. Here is the scoop, the Orioles have a man on third and on first, the guy at the plate hits a good shot to right field that is caught. The Oriole on third base then tags up and scores by crossing home plate. However, the man on first base makes a huge folly, he leaves for second base without tagging up and is thrown out at first. The key point is that the Oriole’s player on third crossed home plate before his teammate was picked off of first—by rule, the run should have counted.

The fun really begins after this play takes place, because the umpires get the call wrong, and do not reward the birds with the point that they should have earned. This should not be a shock to any of us who follow baseball. Umpires get calls wrong all the time (not to this extent of course, but it does happen).

The evil that I have foreshadowed about occurred in the 6^th inning of the same game between the O’s and the Indians. The Orioles manager bitches and points to the replays, and the umpires actually go back in time, and reward the Orioles with the point that they should have gotten in the 3^rd inning. Last time I checked, this is not the NFL, and there is not instant replay in baseball. In fact, this may be the first time in the history of the game that an umpire has changed a call after an argument with a manager.

Umpires and managers fighting to resolve absolutely nothing is one of the many things that makes baseball great and unique. Earl Weaver did not get thrown out of countless number of games to get a call reversed. He did it for the sport, his despise for umpires, and to just argue like a child as an adult. If more calls get reversed like Saturday nights, the tradition of the game is at stake.

Cardinals reliever dies in car crash

Josh Hancock, a key cog at middle relief for the 2006 World Champion St. Louis Cardinals has died in a car crash. Hancock, a Cleveland native and Auburn University alum pitched for the Red Sox, Phillies, and Reds before joining the Cardinals last season. He was 29 years old.

Tonight's Cardinals/Cubs game has been postponed.

Dateline Venezuela: Blogger not missing, not dead...

By Scott Doucette

Before I start I have to clear something up. Contrary to common belief I was not kidnapped because of the value of my kidneys on the black market, but rather, because of my derogatory comments about Venezuelan phenom Carlos Silva. I wish to offer a public apology to Carlos and his family. That being said, lets blog.

First of all I'd like to thank fellow bloggers Tyler and Dave for holding down the fort while I was otherwise engaged. And no, I'm not upset about your attempt to replace me with an "intern".

My Venezuelan captors Enrique and Luis have been surprisingly kind and even though I was forced to marry their youngest daughter (it was a beautiful wedding), I've actually been enjoying myself down here. My farmer's tan is in full effect and I've had more than my fill of undercooked goat and wild rice. Needless to say, a return to the states is not expected any time soon and now that I've gained access to the town computer I will be blogging regularly from my new home. Oh yeah, the people here seem to think Johan Santana is pretty good. They love their baseball, and believe it or not, most are big Twins fans. I watch all the games at a local Fuddruckers with Enrique and I have to say that I'm a little disappointed in the bats lately.

Going into the season I was skeptical of a lineup that has done nothing to prove me wrong. Of course our big guns are producing: The Big Baby Jesus, Joe Mauer, continues to hit and Cuddy continues to "smell em", while Morneau and Hunter are where they need to be, but at this point I'd like to trade in a couple of our Little Piranhas for one big damn Killer Whale. Nick Punto and Jason Bartlett have yet to show the talent that won them starting jobs last year while a platoon system at DH of Jason Kubel, Jason Tyner, and Mike Redmond, somwhow, does not seem to intimidate opposing pitchers. The offense has been affetive at times but it now seems that the pitching staff everyone was questioning going into the season might be just fine whereas our fun little lineup might be just that. Little fun to watch.

Prove me wrong fellas. Prove me wrong.

Pitfalls, Quicksand and Footholds

By David Jensen

April 19^th, Minnesota is an AL best 10-5 and in first place in the central by one game. Behind them was a road sweep of division leader Seattle. Ahead of them is a stretch of 10 straight divisional opponents, five against the lowly Royals. On April 26^th, the Twins are 11-10 and searching for answers. In six days, they lost twice to Cleveland and three times to those Royals and slipped to fourth in the division. Such is baseball. In a game based on failure, losing streaks are inevitable.

When a team is riding high, the trap door can open suddenly and seemingly without reason. Since leaving Seattle, Twins starting pitchers are 0-4 with a 6.03 ERA. The bullpen has continued to perform well, but with so much extra work, the dam is bound to break, i.e. the 11^th inning versus Cleveland on Monday.

Coupled with poor starting pitching, one would think that Luis Castillo’s injury has played a major role in Minnesota’s struggles. He hasn’t played since straining his left quadriceps April 19^th. His replacement, 22 year-old Alexi Casilla, has batted .393 and committed one error. As a team, Minnesota committed four errors, as many as their opponents.

Casilla isn’t the only one swinging a hot bat. In the last six games, Torii Hunter is hitting .360 with four doubles. Joe Mauer is hitting at a .435 clip. Nick Punto has batted .304, raising his season average 57 points.

With the table setters getting on base, we come to the four and five hitters. Dorn has hit a measly .208 with two RBIs and two extra base hits. Somehow Morneau has managed to do even less. He has one hit in his last 17 at-bats. Since leaving Seattle, he has just one RBI and one walk. With that kind of production from those two, the Twins will have little chance of overcoming a poor pitching performance.

The Twins had one last chance to salvage some respect before going to Detroit. Remembering the old cliché “momentum is today’s starting pitcher”, I listened and hoped. Boof wobbled, walking a career high seven Royals, but never fell in five shutout innings. He helped himself with eight strikeouts, tying a career high. Zack Greinke had the same type of day, giving the Twins many chances, but he always found a way to squirm out of trouble before leaving after the seventh. Greinke started the second by beaning Hunter in the face, sending him to the hospital for stitches. Neither bullpen gave up much through 10 innings.

Dorn led off the 11^th by grounding out to short. Morneau came up next with no hits in four at-bats on the day. But, like the warrior he is, he put the slump out of his mind and lined a long single off the baggy. He advanced to second on a seeing-eye single by Tyner. That set the stage for Mike Redmond. Predictably, the best hitting catcher in the game came through with a single to drive in the winning run. When the reigning MVP hits, good things happen. Like Dan Gladden said on the broadcast; “I don’t care what caliber of hitter you are, you’re gonna go through some one-for-twenty-one slumps”. Let’s hope it doesn’t follow him to Detroit.

The Royals Strike Back

By Tyler Savage

On Saturday I watched the Empire Strikes Back for the first time in a year or so. I never realized how ruthless Darth Vader was with the admirals in the Galactic Empire. It really got me thinking...what if Darth Vader managed the Twins? Here is a small picture of what it might look like.

(Note: Twins and Royals, game one, Friday night. Sydney Ponson just gave up a homerun to Mark Grudzielanek in the bottom of the 5^th inning to give the Royals the lead. Pitching Coach Rick Anderson is returning to the dugout after talking to Ponson.)
Anderson knew it was not going to be a good exchange when he got back into the dugout, maybe that was why he was walking back so slow. His hands were sweating and the look on Vader’s face was terrifying him. Actually Vader didn’t really have a look on his face, seeing as he was wearing the same expressionless black helmet that he always wore, but it was still scary—even with the Twin’s hat on top of it.
“Ponson blew our cover with his non sinking sinker, the Royals knew that it was coming,” Vader stated as Anderson sat next to him.
“Ponson felt that it was just a bad pitch my lord,” Anderson replied.
“He is as clumsy as he is stupid,” Vader barked, “get me Perkins on the phone, he will now be in charge of this operation!”
As Vader left his seat everyone in the dugout quickly took their eyes off of Ponson. The infield had been holding a meeting at the pitching mound, but it soon broke up with first sight of Vader. Vader was still yards away when Ponson dropped the ball and grabbed his neck. Ponson had already been out of breath from the beating he was taking on the field, and it didn’t take long for him to fall.
Every pitcher in the bullpen was fidgety as they awaited Lord Vader’s pick. A sigh of relief could be heard from all of the right-handers as Vader pointed to his left arm, (but it was rumored that he was more machine now than man). Poor Glen Perkins looked more nervous than the troops on D-Day as he ran to the mound.
The exchange between Vader and Perkins was to the point. “Admiral Ponson is no longer in charge General Perkins,” Vader explained, “you are now in charge, do not fail me.”
As the Imperial March hummed in the background, two ground’s crewmen rushed out to drag Ponson off of the field. This had became a common scene at the Metradome and at ballparks around America; there was even a new feature on Baseball Tonight called “death gems” that featured the ground’s crew’s unique efforts at removing the Twin’s fallen pitchers.