Rough Times for TBW's

Tyler Savage
Life was completely different a month ago; life for a beat writer was good. The Twins were in first place, and when the good times roll, everybody wants to be your friend. The Twins beat writer’s office was a different place back then. Guest stars like Jay-Z* were common, and I really don’t know how we cleaned up after that mid-day foam party that spontaneously broke out after the afternoon break.

With every loss, the crowds diminished from the office, and before I knew it the bubble had burst, and I was on a flight home from Hollywood after covering the American Gladiators. I had to take the side job to pay the bills and make ends meet; with each Twin’s loss, my job was in danger. Nothing prepared me for the sight I saw today when I got back to the office.

Jensen was not looking good in his office (Dave won the only office due to a lucky hand in cribbage). As I walked down his office hall, I was worried when I did not see him at his desk. I was about to walk past his door and to my cubical when I heard a consistent thumping sound coming from in his office. As I approached the desk I saw Dave with a two-week beard, sitting on the floor by his chair, his arms were wrapped around his knees, and he was rocking back and forth mumbling to himself. The thumping was coming from his head bumping the wall with each rock he took. As I approached I could hear what he was mumbling.

“Johan will come, Johan will come,” was all that was coming out of his mouth. It sounded like a record that was skipping. At first I tried to snap him out of his catatonic state, but then I took the opportunity to take back my Born in the USA CD.

As I exited Dave’s office, I walked by Scotty’s cubical, and a deep remorse hit me. While Scotty was in Venezuela we had been “cleaning” his office for his return. Currently, all of his things were glued to the ceiling. I soon realized that if the Twins didn’t start winning soon, we would never make Scotty’s ransom, and he would never get to see these great pranks.

As I weaseled into my cubical, I was finally able to let out a sigh of relief; I had to sneak past intern Sam’s janitor’s closet so that he wouldn’t hassle me about publishing his writing. I had made it, but I had my mace ready incase of emergency.

As I checked my voice mail, I became worried—my editor had called saying that we needed to talk soon! The end was looking near. For the rest of the day, I filled out job applications and prayed for a Twin’s win tonight in Milwaukee. After finishing my applications for The Price is Right host, and for the Commissioner of Major League Baseball I realized that life at another job may not be horrible, but this job has been a dream come true. I decided to wait until tomorrow to call the editor—GO TWINS!!!

To Be Continued…

*At this place in the story, I wanted to place the name of the hottest/coolest new celebrity, I realized that I do not know who is cool anymore though….sorry.