Fan Free Agents

By Tyler Savage

Is it fair for Cubs' fans to suffer for 100 years? Well...no wait, Wrigley is like a huge party with all the Budweiser that you can find...bad example. Let's start over, is it fair for the Devil Rays' fans to suffer for a short and painful decade? No. It isn't fair. Any good player that comes up in the Devil Ray's system has the ability to leave for a winner. If the players don' t have any loyalty and can become free agents, why can't the fans?
My favorite columnist Bill Simons for ESPN has asked this question in a few of his columns. Why can't we switch teams? Why can't fans get fed up with a shitty organization and call it quits for greener pastures.
The last few weeks, I have been wondering if I am going to become a fan free agent. Monday is the deadline in baseball for current teams to negotiate contracts with pending free agents. I am seriously thinking about closing my negotiations with the Twins and seeing what I can get on the market. At the least, I could use this as leverage in my fan negotiations with the Twins.
Maybe the Red Sox would offer me more than 50% of its revenue to be spent on my team's players. I'm a pretty good fan, I don't yell for Lew Ford, or play TWINGO, maybe I could get rewarded for my years of hard work.
Maybe the Angels could offer me more than TC the Bear. Hell, they got the Rally Monkey, that has to count for something. I could even go to a small market with the Pirates and get to watch baseball in one damn fine baseball park.
Who knows, maybe a Dodger Dog is hands down a much better frank than a Dome Dog. Then their is the thought of just becoming a low life degenerate and rooting for the White Sox.
But no....I can't do it. I cannot think of the riches that I could get on the free agent market. I have decided to re-sign with the Twins. Why can't fans switch teams? It's simple, no one wants to be that kid in elementary school who comes to school with a new team's jacket each year, or the kid that switches the team he is rooting for at halftime in the Super Bowl, because when the game started he was rooting for the Buffalo Bills. It's about integrity, and even though players do not have it, fans do. Besides, maybe Tyner is the best center fielder that we have.